When I was 9, I cried in a dressing

When I was 9, I cried in a dressing room because my thighs were bigger than all the other girls at school. So I wore sweatpants to hide my size.

At 11, I hid in a bathroom stall during lunch because the boys teased me for being the only girl wearing a bra. So I wore baggy sweatshirts to cover up.

At 14, I cringed when we had to take class photos because I was taller than all the boys and thought I was ugly. So I scratched out my face in the print.

At 17, I cried when that boy broke my heart over spring break because he met a prettier girl. So I quickly chased after a new one and posted photos to Facebook so that everyone would believe I was happy.

At 19, I collapsed on a long run because my body aches as I starved myself another day.

At 20, while listening to K-LOVE Radio, I realized that I had spent the first two decades of my life believing the lie that I needed to look like the page on the right. Clean, crisp, perfect, and poised. So I did all I could to hide my messes. My insecurities. My doubt. My discouragement.

But the truth is that I always felt out of place. I felt too messy and big and awkward and ugly.

And that's half the reason why my bible is all messy and unusual and what many people call vandalism. But the truth is that it's a sanctuary for me. A place where I can drop the filters and be the sad little girl that hid in a bathroom stall. Except there's no hiding behind baggy sweatshirts, no comparison, no judgment, no holding back. It's me, my heart poured out in every color, scratch, and squiggle. There's kind of a system to it, sometimes, but not really. & that's okay. Because at 20, I had found confidence in one place alone - at Jesus' feet. And today, it's still the only place I'm free to drop the filters, to feel imperfect and ugly without wanting to hide, and free to be messy with a God who adores every ounce of me. That is radical. And my outpour on the page is my response.
It's true for you, too. So if you're feeling fat or ugly or heartbroken or discouraged or any form of messy: that's okay. You weren't made to be like the right page. You were made to be like the left: bold, bright, beautiful, and maybe a little messy.

Because messy in the Word = confident in the world."

Story and Photo courtesy of SoulScripts by Jordan Lee

Kết quả (Việt) 1:

Khi tôi là 9, tôi khóc trong phòng thay đồ vì đùi của tôi đã lớn hơn so với tất cả các cô gái khác ở trường. Vì vậy, tôi mặc sweatpants giấu kích thước của tôi. Tại 11, tôi trốn ở một gian hàng phòng tắm trong thời gian ăn trưa vì các chàng trai chọc ghẹo tôi cho là các cô gái chỉ mặc một chiếc áo ngực. Vì vậy, tôi mặc áo nỉ baggy để che phủ lên. Lúc 14, tôi cringed khi chúng tôi đã có để có hình ảnh lớp học bởi vì tôi đã cao hơn tất cả các bé trai và nghĩ rằng tôi là xấu xí. Vì vậy, tôi trầy xước trong khuôn mặt của tôi trong in. Tại 17, tôi khóc khi cậu bé đó đã phá vỡ trái tim tôi qua mùa xuân lao vì ông đã gặp một cô gái đẹp. Do đó, tôi nhanh chóng đuổi sau một cái mới và đăng ảnh lên Facebook để cho tất cả mọi người sẽ tin rằng tôi đã được hạnh phúc. Tại 19, tôi sụp đổ trên một lâu dài vì cơ thể của tôi đau như tôi đói bản thân mình một ngày khác. Ở 20, trong khi nghe Radio K-tình yêu, tôi đã nhận ra rằng tôi đã trải qua hai thập kỷ đầu tiên của cuộc đời tôi tin lời nói dối rằng tôi cần thiết để trông giống như trang bên phải. Sạch, sắc nét, hoàn hảo và sẵn sàng. Vì vậy, tôi đã làm tất cả tôi có thể để ẩn messes của tôi. Bất an của tôi. Nghi ngờ của tôi. Chán nản của tôi. Nhưng sự thật là tôi luôn luôn cảm thấy ra khỏi vị trí. Tôi cảm thấy quá lộn xộn và lớn và vụng về và xấu xí. And that's half the reason why my bible is all messy and unusual and what many people call vandalism. But the truth is that it's a sanctuary for me. A place where I can drop the filters and be the sad little girl that hid in a bathroom stall. Except there's no hiding behind baggy sweatshirts, no comparison, no judgment, no holding back. It's me, my heart poured out in every color, scratch, and squiggle. There's kind of a system to it, sometimes, but not really. & that's okay. Because at 20, I had found confidence in one place alone - at Jesus' feet. And today, it's still the only place I'm free to drop the filters, to feel imperfect and ugly without wanting to hide, and free to be messy with a God who adores every ounce of me. That is radical. And my outpour on the page is my response. It's true for you, too. So if you're feeling fat or ugly or heartbroken or discouraged or any form of messy: that's okay. You weren't made to be like the right page. You were made to be like the left: bold, bright, beautiful, and maybe a little messy. Because messy in the Word = confident in the world."Story and Photo courtesy of SoulScripts by Jordan Lee