The last part was said with a hint

The last part was said with a hint of resignation and Takato looked at Kou before they decided to give in. Akihito was firmly kicking him out of his apartment, which was his right after all. “Fine.”

“Keep your phone on this time, ok?” Kou pleaded.

Akihito nodded before shutting the door behind them. Two locks slid into place this time.

..........

Two days later, after no contact from Akihito, Takato couldn’t get his mind off his friend. He felt incredibly guilty for not even trying to get in contact with him all that time, because he was spending a lot of time with his new girlfriend, who was a really awesome woman.

Elizabeth made him happy and in his bliss, he’d put Akihito’s turmoil on the back burner for the time being. But now he had his mind on his tormented friend once again and now, he was definitely going over there alone to check up on his friend. Kou was doing an errand for his mother out of town.

This time, there was a limousine parked in front of the apartment. It reminded him of when he saw the man in the expensive business suit a few days ago. He wondered if Akihito’s apartment in the middle of downtown Tokyo was suddenly a hot spot for influential people. When he reached Akihito’s floor, he caught sight of the back of another man in expensive business attire turning the corner on the opposite end of the hall. He didn’t pay it any particular mind before walking up to Akihito’s door.

“Hey, Aki!” he shouted while knocking. There was no answer.

Maybe Akihito wasn’t home, or maybe he was asleep, or maybe Takato should follow his gut instinct and try to get inside. What would it hurt? Surprisingly, the knob turned easily and he slipped inside the darkened apartment, sunlight barely streaming in through cracks in the curtains. The apartment had an heavy feel to it, suffocating like.

“Akihito?” Takato whispered, not wanting to spook his friend in the event he was around and close by. He called again when he didn’t get an answer, voice rising an octave.

Just then, a small whimper, like a wounded animal, reached his ears from the direction of the bedroom and Takato padded over softly, dreading what he would find when he opened the door.

“Aki?”

More sniffling.

“Hey, it’s me,” Takato voiced softly to the blond lump under the covers on the bed in the dark. “You ok?”

“No,” Akihito answered weakly, voice gravelly like he just woke up or he was shouting or crying.

He was reaching for the bedside lamp when Akihito stopped him mid-reach.

“No, don’t turn on the lights, Takato.”

“Why not?” Takato asked, noticing a strong smell of something he couldn’t quite place, like more than one scents mixed together.

“Get me some water, please?”

“Fine, I’ll be right back.”

When Takato returned Akihito had a window open so light streamed inside the bedroom. He was nowhere to be seen, but the sound of the shower in the bathroom attached to the bedroom could be heard. When Akihito re-emerged he was dressed in his now signature long sleeve with his hair wet and his eyes puffy and red. Another new norm. “Here.”

Akihito took the glass of water, gulping it down greedily. “Thanks,” he muttered after.

Takato nodded. “Now, don’t tell me you’re fine, Akihito. Ever since you came back...”

Akihito heaved a tired sigh, cutting him off before sitting on the bed. “I know, ok? Things haven’t been exactly normal since those three days.”

Takato sat across from him in a chair, eyeing his obviously struggling friend softly. “What happened?”

Akihito sighed again, like he was debating coming clean. Takato felt a little disheartened when Akihito answered, “I can’t tell you.”

“It’s weighing on you, Aki. Can’t you at least tell me a little? I doubt you’ve talked to anybody and look at you now? Whatever it is is eating you up inside.” His hand hovered a few inches from Akihito’s, sensing his friend’s need not to touch like a bitter taste on his tongue.

Akihito’s hazel eyes looked haunted and suppressive, searching for something he obviously wasn’t finding. “I’m sorry...”

Takato felt frustrated, and it must have shown in his face because Akihito suddenly averted his gaze.

“Hey, look. I understand, ok? Whatever it is, it’s a heavy burden and you don’t know what to do. But trust me Akihito, you’re too much of a friend for me to sit idly by and do nothing while you’re hurting. You’d do the same for me, you know.”

Akihito’s lips curled at the corner at that. “Yeah, I would, wouldn’t I?”

“Of course you would, so don’t expect any less from me, alright?”

Akihito nodded hesitantly. He seemed to be gathering his thoughts, then he started, “I can’t go into details, alright?”

Takato nodded.

“But some-something happened those three days and it’s making me re-evaluate everything I know about myself, you know?”

Takato nodded. If Akihito just wanted an ear to hear, he could be that.

“My head’s a screwed up, jumbled mess right now because of what happened. And to be honest, it scares me. I look in the mirror sometimes and wonder ‘who are you?’ You know? If I can feel how I feel about what happened, then I don’t know myself as well as I think I do.”

Akihito started picking idly at the hem of his sleeve and Takato wished he could hug him and tell him everything would be alright like Akihito used to do for him. “I’m sorry this is happening to you. Whatever it is, isn’t there any way you can help yourself better?”

Akihito shrugged. “I honestly don’t know.”

“Wow, I don’t know what to say. You’ve always been the strong one, you know?”

Akihito laughed. It sounded pained and humorous at the same time. “There’s never been anything strong about me.”

Takato’s chest twisted at that. “Hey, don’t do that, please. Don’t bring yourself down, Aki. Whatever it is, you’re stronger for sitting here right now and trying to get past it. Don’t sell yourself short.”

Akihito was trying to accept it, Takato could tell.

“Thanks.” Akihito’s smile was tentative.

Again, Takato wished he could touch, a reinforcement of strength.

“Anyway, this thing happens, and all I keep thinking is no, just no, but by the end I’m left wondering what no really means...”

”Through everything that was happening, I was wondering why he wouldn’t stop. What does no really mean, Takato?”

Something horrific dawned on Takato at that admission. Holy hell! Someone else said almost the same exact thing to him a few years ago. An old classmate. She was ra.... He did not want to go there. He could feel the breath leaving his lungs at the implication.