ZX6What if the Reward Program isn’t

ZX6What if the Reward Program isn’t Working?
Many parents think reward programs should work immediately to change a child’s behavior. It is important to remember that it takes time for behaviors to change. It will take time for reward programs to work. If you are patient and consistent in what you do, you will see an increase in your child’s good behavior. You will also see a decrease in misbehaviors over time.
What should you do if the reward program is not working? There are three things you can review and maybe change:
1. You may need to think about what you are expecting from your child. Ask yourself: Can my child do the behavior I want her to do? If you decide that you are expecting too much, you can make changes to the program. Be sure to explain the reason for the change to your child. For example, if you realize that you expected your child to make her bed but she cannot do that, you might say, “I realize that I should reward you for helping me make the bed. So from now on, you will get a prize when you help me make the bed.”
2. A reward program also may not be working well if the behavior is not specific, clear, and easy for your child to understand. Ask yourself: Is the behavior specific? Does my child understand what I expect? If your child is not doing the behavior, it’s a sign she may not understand what you want done. As your child gets older, you can see if she understands by asking her to tell you what she needs to do to get a reward. Remember that behaviors should be specific and easy for you to see. Keep behaviors simple for young children.
3. Reward programs may not work if the rewards are not things your child is interested in earning. Ask yourself: Does my child like the reward I am offering? Does my child like other types of rewards better? Remember that things you like may not be the same as what your child would like to earn. Children also become tired of some rewards and develop new likes and interests. Keep a running list of rewards your child would like. Change and add to the reward list over time to continue to make the rewards fun and exciting.
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Locations and Other Keys to Effective Time-Outs
Choosing the Right Place for Time-Out
If you decide to use time-out as a consequence, it’s important to choose a good time-out place in the home. Choose a place that is away from attention, entertainment, and distractions. Think about the following things when you are picking a time-out spot:
• Choose a time-out place that is away from toys, people, windows, TVs, radios, and anything else your child likes. Your child’s bedroom is not a good place for time-out. The bedroom often has too many things in it your child likes. If you need to use the bedroom as a time-out area, remove the toys from the room.
• Often, the best place for time-out is at the end of a hallway. This area is usually away from people and things in your home that your child likes. If you use a separate room, make sure it is safe and your child does not have access to things that can cause harm, like chemicals or detergents. Also, do not turn off the lights during time-out and never use a closet. You don’t want to scare your child. The goal is just to remove all attention and fun things so your child does not like going to time-out. Do not leave your young child unsupervised for long periods of time. Remember time-out only lasts for a few minutes. If you use a separate room, stay nearby so you can monitor what is happening.
• When you choose a time-out location, you want to be sure that your child cannot hit or kick the wall. Being able to kick or hit the wall may be fun for your child. Also, there should be no breakable things nearby. One way to decide if a place is a good spot for time-out is to sit in the space yourself. Stretch out your arms and legs. If you cannot touch anything, your child will not be able to touch anything either.
The Time-Out Chair and Other Alternatives
A time-out chair is the most common place parents identify for time-out. An adult-sized, wooden kitchen chair often works best. If you use a small, child-sized chair, your child can easily move the chair around. It is important for your child’s safety to choose a sturdy time-out chair that he cannot rock or move. Wooden kitchen chairs also are not very soft or comfortable. Try to avoid chairs that rock, chairs with soft cushions, and chairs with pictures and graphics on them. Remember, this is a time-out from things your child likes.
If a time-out chair is not available, you can use other items like a small blanket, cloth napkin, or a small mat to show your child where to sit on the floor for time-out. You can also take these with you in case you need to put your child in time-out away from home. Keep an eye on your child to make sure she does not start playing with the blanket or mat if you use them instead of a chair.