One minute into the annual inspection and things are already going wrong for the Globe Hotel. Not that they know it yet. The receptionist reciting room rates over the phone to a potential guest is still blissfully unaware of the identity of the real guest she is doggedly ignoring Hasn't even acknowledged us,' Sue Brown says out of the corner of her mouth. "Very poor.' It is a classic arrival-phase error, and one that Sue has encountered scores of times in her 11 years as an inspector. But this isn't an ordinary three-star place," she protests. It has three red stars, and I would expect better.' To be the possessor of red stars means that the Globe is rated among the top 130 of the 4,000 listed in the hotel guide published by the organisation she works for However, even before our frosty welcome, a chill has entered the air. Access from the car park has been via an unmanned door, operated by an impersonal buzzer, followed by a long, twisting, deserted corridor leading to the hotel entrance. Again, not what I had expect says Sue. Could things get worse? They could. We seem to have no record of your booking,' announces the receptionist in her best sing-song how-may-I-help you voice. It turns out that a dozen of the hotel's 15 rooms are unoccupied that night. One is on the top floor. It is not to the inspector's taste: stuffiness is one criticism, the other is a gaping panel at the back of the wardrobe, behind which is a large hole in the wall When she began her inspecting career, she earned an early reputation for toughness. The Woman in Black, I was known as,' she recalls, which was funny, because I never used to wear black. And I've never been too tough.' Not that you would know it the next morning when, after paying her bill, she suddenly reveals her identity to the Globe's general manager, Robin Greaves From the look on his face, her arrival has caused terror Even before she says anything else, he expresses abject apologies for the unpleasant smell in the main lounge. We think there's a blocked drain there,' he sighs. The whole floor will probably have to come up. Sue gently
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