Marriage Mentors The long-standing use of mentor couples has received new attention (Institute for American Values, 2000; McManus, 1995; Fournier & Olson, 1986). “The Marriage Movement: A Statement of Principles” (2000) encouraged clergy and faith communities to develop lay marriage mentoring ministries, suggesting that mentor couples can play a role that no professional can: “people who have been there can provide daily support, 46 skills, tips, and, above all, inspiration: the difficult faith that success is possible” (p. 21). Fournier and Olson (1986) pointed out the particular potential for benefit in the first year of marriage. A textbook on marriage enrichment suggests several ways in which mentor couples can be part of a marriage preparation program: Trained mentor couples make many of the benefits of ME [marriage enrichment] available to couples at any time, tailored to the couples’ specific needs. Mentor couples can provide a mobile couple enrichment network capable of reaching virtually all couples in a community. Through the outreach of mentor couples, marriage resources can be made available to those who otherwise would never hear of them. Mentor couples can link couples in need to therapy services and support networks. Informal mentor and support networks have long existed through relatives, neighbors, and religious and other community groups. Programs using carefully trained mentor couples are very recent but they are an exciting wave of the future for enabling hundreds of thousands of healthy couples to offer support, encouragement, mentoring, modeling, and other networking to all types of couples (Hunt, Hof, & DeMaria, 1998, p. 188). Although there is anecdotal evidence and intuitive expectations for the effectiveness of mentoring, the process has not been tested empirically (Doherty & Anderson, 2004). One study looked at the effect of marriage mentoring when used in conjunction with a specific premarital program (Sandstrom, 2004). Overall the study found that 47 marriage mentoring was most helpful to couples identified as Vitalized and Traditional (Fowers, Montel, & Olson, 1996) in making expectations more realistic and in providing support that gave the couple more confidence in starting marriage. The benefits seemed to be related to the number of meetings between mentor and mentored couples. Some long-term effects of mentoring related to in-laws, understanding family-of-origin influence, and spiritual benefits. Different types of couples might benefit in different ways. For example, help with communication skills seemed particularly beneficial for Traditional couples. The study also suggested that the mentoring should develop the mentor-mentored relationship before discussing inventory results and should continue after the marriage has begun. The OMI has attempted to encourage training for mentor couples, but activities have been limited by budgetary constraints (S. Cox, personal communication, May 16, 2005) and by the perceptions that responses had been inadequate (S. Crawley, personal communication, May 16, 2005). According to information gathered by the OMI’s faith coordinator, about 600 pastors were introduced to a mentoring model at two luncheons in May 2001 (S. Crawley, personal communication, May 16, 2005). The author’s recollection of the luncheon he attended is that the speakers addressed more general marriage preparation and enrichment themes and encouraged participants to purchase their books and videos, discussing mentor training only in response to questions from the audience. In 2004, the OMI conducted a weekend training event focused on developing mentoring programs. Of the 33 congregations represented, only 4 had begun mentoring programs a year later. The OMI determined that mentor training did not merit a high priority until there could be an expectation of higher demand and intentional involvement 48 of participants (S. Crawley, personal communication, May 16, 2005)
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