Chapter 5. What Lies in PowerPart 1

Chapter 5. What Lies in Power

Part 1. Deep Within Every Man, There Is a Secret Power

'sorry, can't go home yet. but will come home for your birthday next week. promise. xxx.'

Arata's text makes me sigh. I can count with the fingers on my single hand how many times he comes home since our dinner with my parents more than two weeks a go. And when he did come home, it would only be for a few hours; leaving him just enough time to take a quick shower, change his clothes, and then go back to his office.

It seems there is a problem with his project with Asami so that Arata and his team needs to focus all their time and energy to fix it. Knowing this issue, I don't pay much attention when there is no news from Asami as well. He must be busy with the problem with his business. Besides, it is good to have a bit of distance when I need to make a decision about my relationships (yes, it is in plural form now!). Being around Asami with my brain clouded with pure lust definitely will not help me to make any.

The first thing I decided is that I need to be honest with Arata as soon as he has time to talk more than just a few words. I don't plan to tell him every little detail. There is no need to hurt him more than what I have done. But I can't be with him when my heart is with someone else. He deserves better than that. I know it will definitely mean the end of our relationship. Or maybe our relationship has died long time a go when we become more like a roommate and less of a couple as we both get more and more busy with our own work and life. Whichever the case is, I don't want to keep any more secrets from him.

To be honest, there is a part of me that is afraid to face the truth. Arata has been my touchstone for the last two years. What we have gone through may not be as heart throbbing as what Asami and I have experienced together. However, we have supported and cared for each other for quite a long time that I have almost forgotten how life without him is. But I know it is time to stop running away from reality. That is the least thing I can do for Arata at this moment.

What I will do with Asami is a much more difficult question. I know if I decided to be with him, I have to change. And I am not sure what I am going to be once that happens. But there is just no way I stay with him and still remain unaffected. In one way or another, his way of life will change me. Just like my way of life will also somehow change him.

His world is not one with a guarantee that everything will be fine or that we will always be together happily ever after. As soon as people notices that I am with him, his enemies will look for me, just like before. And Asami will do everything in his power to protect me, again. Doesn't it mean I am just going around and around in the same old problem? Will I wake up again one day, realizing what a mistake it is to stay stubbornly by his side and to watch him hurt or even die because of me? Then what is the point of all those miserable days and nights after breaking up with him if I am just going to repeat it all over again?

In the end, letting him go will do good looks like the better option for both Asami and I. Just like Arata deserves someone who loves him completely, Asami deserves someone strong who can stand and support him by his side instead of being a burden.

As for me? I will be fine by myself. Really. Bouncing back from whatever things life throws at me is my specialty anyway. I will just focus in my career. I am going to be a famous photographer and live my life to the fullest. Yeah, it is decided. Who needs an arrogant and control freak crime lord, anyway, when fame has been waiting for me all along? Right? I chant the silent argument inside my head a few times a day like a mantra.

But when Kirishima sends me a text message on the first Thursday night since my parents' visit, informing that Asami will not be able to make it for our regular Friday dinner, I start to feel unsure about my own decision to leave Asami. My determination wavers more as Asami also cancels our next dinner a week after that. Suddenly, being alone at home doesn't give me the peaceful time needed to think. Instead, it makes me feel restless. The silence in my apartment pressures me in a way that makes me unable to sleep. Eating alone doesn't improve my appetite. Being unable to settle things with Arata due to his long work hours doesn't help to improve my mood. And knowing I may lose Asami again and for good this time (if I haven't lost him already considering how he keeps avoiding me!) makes everything worse.

I think I am going to lose my mind if I don't talk to someone soon. So, as I leave for work, I text Kou and tell him to call me as soon as possible.

"Takaba, Sato, get your lazy ass here! NOW!"

I slowly bang my head to my desk. My other teammates look at Sato-san and I with pity. I don't remember why exactly I decided to take a short-term contract for this photography collection project sponsored by a local clothing brand. I don't usually take a full time project no matter how short, preferring to be a freelancer. But the vision of the project is very inspiring and the payment is quite good. So I thought, why not? It may be nice to have a stable income for a couple of months, especially since Arata pointed out how unstable my freelance job is when I asked him to stop his project with Asami. During my first few days working in the project, I already regret my decision.

Kết quả (Việt) 1:

Chapter 5. What Lies in PowerPart 1. Deep Within Every Man, There Is a Secret Power'sorry, can't go home yet. but will come home for your birthday next week. promise. xxx.'Arata's text makes me sigh. I can count with the fingers on my single hand how many times he comes home since our dinner with my parents more than two weeks a go. And when he did come home, it would only be for a few hours; leaving him just enough time to take a quick shower, change his clothes, and then go back to his office.It seems there is a problem with his project with Asami so that Arata and his team needs to focus all their time and energy to fix it. Knowing this issue, I don't pay much attention when there is no news from Asami as well. He must be busy with the problem with his business. Besides, it is good to have a bit of distance when I need to make a decision about my relationships (yes, it is in plural form now!). Being around Asami with my brain clouded with pure lust definitely will not help me to make any.Lần đầu tiên tôi quyết định là tôi cần phải trung thực với Arata ngay sau khi ông có thời gian để nói chuyện nhiều hơn là chỉ một vài từ. Tôi không có kế hoạch cho biết hắn từng chi tiết nhỏ. Không cần để làm tổn thương anh nhiều hơn những gì tôi đã làm. Nhưng tôi không thể với anh ta khi trái tim của tôi là với người khác. Ông xứng đáng tốt hơn. Tôi biết nó chắc chắn sẽ có nghĩa là kết thúc mối quan hệ của chúng tôi. Hoặc có lẽ mối quan hệ của chúng tôi đã mất thời gian dài một đi khi chúng tôi trở nên giống như một bạn cùng phòng và ít hơn của một vài như chúng tôi cả hai có được càng nhiều bận rộn với công việc và cuộc sống riêng của chúng tôi. Cho dù các trường hợp là, tôi không muốn giữ bất kỳ bí mật thêm từ anh ta.Để được trung thực, đó là một phần của tôi là sợ phải đối mặt với sự thật. Arata đã touchstone của tôi trong hai năm qua. Những gì chúng tôi đã đi qua có thể không như trái tim throbbing như những gì Asami và tôi đã có kinh nghiệm với nhau. Tuy nhiên, chúng tôi có được hỗ trợ và chăm sóc cho nhau khá một thời gian dài tôi đã gần như quên làm thế nào cuộc sống mà không có ông là. Nhưng tôi biết nó là thời gian để ngừng chạy đi từ thực tế. Đó là điều ít nhất tôi có thể làm cho Arata tại thời điểm này.Những gì tôi sẽ làm với Asami là một câu hỏi khó khăn hơn. Tôi biết nếu tôi quyết định với anh ta, tôi có thể thay đổi. Và tôi không chắc chắn những gì tôi có khi điều đó xảy ra. Nhưng đó là chỉ cần không có cách nào tôi ở lại với anh ta và vẫn không bị ảnh hưởng. Trong cách này hay cách khác, đường đi của cuộc sống sẽ thay đổi tôi. Cũng giống như cách cuộc sống của tôi bằng cách nào đó cũng sẽ thay đổi anh ta.His world is not one with a guarantee that everything will be fine or that we will always be together happily ever after. As soon as people notices that I am with him, his enemies will look for me, just like before. And Asami will do everything in his power to protect me, again. Doesn't it mean I am just going around and around in the same old problem? Will I wake up again one day, realizing what a mistake it is to stay stubbornly by his side and to watch him hurt or even die because of me? Then what is the point of all those miserable days and nights after breaking up with him if I am just going to repeat it all over again?In the end, letting him go will do good looks like the better option for both Asami and I. Just like Arata deserves someone who loves him completely, Asami deserves someone strong who can stand and support him by his side instead of being a burden.As for me? I will be fine by myself. Really. Bouncing back from whatever things life throws at me is my specialty anyway. I will just focus in my career. I am going to be a famous photographer and live my life to the fullest. Yeah, it is decided. Who needs an arrogant and control freak crime lord, anyway, when fame has been waiting for me all along? Right? I chant the silent argument inside my head a few times a day like a mantra.But when Kirishima sends me a text message on the first Thursday night since my parents' visit, informing that Asami will not be able to make it for our regular Friday dinner, I start to feel unsure about my own decision to leave Asami. My determination wavers more as Asami also cancels our next dinner a week after that. Suddenly, being alone at home doesn't give me the peaceful time needed to think. Instead, it makes me feel restless. The silence in my apartment pressures me in a way that makes me unable to sleep. Eating alone doesn't improve my appetite. Being unable to settle things with Arata due to his long work hours doesn't help to improve my mood. And knowing I may lose Asami again and for good this time (if I haven't lost him already considering how he keeps avoiding me!) makes everything worse.I think I am going to lose my mind if I don't talk to someone soon. So, as I leave for work, I text Kou and tell him to call me as soon as possible."Takaba, Sato, get your lazy ass here! NOW!"I slowly bang my head to my desk. My other teammates look at Sato-san and I with pity. I don't remember why exactly I decided to take a short-term contract for this photography collection project sponsored by a local clothing brand. I don't usually take a full time project no matter how short, preferring to be a freelancer. But the vision of the project is very inspiring and the payment is quite good. So I thought, why not? It may be nice to have a stable income for a couple of months, especially since Arata pointed out how unstable my freelance job is when I asked him to stop his project with Asami. During my first few days working in the project, I already regret my decision.