The ritual was designed to introduce symmetry into a system that had been primarily marked by complementary relationships. Thus, all members participated in the giving and receiving of gifts and in theplanning and thoughtfulness that went into gift selection, altering the previous pattern in the family where by the parents and an drew were seen to be the “givers,” the “providers,” the “protectors,” and Karen was seen to be the recipient of care, advice, and protection.The ritual was also designed to confirm individual boundaries as each member was individuallyresponsible for his or her own planning and selection of gifts. Individuation was promoted through theinstruction of secret planning by each member. Dyadic relationships between Karen and every mem-ber were also confirmed, in a family that had previously operated with triads involving Karen as theirprimary mode of relationship. Finally, each member’s contribution to the ritual was highlighted asimportant to the entire process, thus symbolically celebrating the whole family unit. Thus, variousaspects of the ritual functioned to introduce differences in pattern to the family system.By asking the family to bring their gifts to the therapy session, I was able to serve as witness tothe process. Witnesses are frequently a part of normative life cycle rituals. Here, the therapist also maybe seen to symbolically represent an outside helping system in a celebratory stance with a familywhich had been used to criticism and disparagement from outside systems.
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