When I met you I wasn't planning to

When I met you I wasn't planning to fall in love. I wasn't even looking for a new best friend. You changed all that. The attraction was electric and unexpected. You came into my world and turned it upside down. Our timing was lousy, but the connection was impossible to ignore. Our logical minds attempted to take control, but never had a chance.

I trusted you implicitly, and you always told me that you "trusted me, and more!". You were the first person that I showed the 'real' me to, and you appreciated me for me. In the short time we were together, you found out more about me than I had ever let anyone else know. We shared and so much, yet there was still so much to learn. I knew so much about you, and then again, so little. I always assumed that we had so much time. So much I knew, yet so much I wanted to learn. Our love was a secret, and I was happy enough to keep that secret while we tried to sort out the incredible "mess" that we had got ourselves into. I was also happy to wait until circumstances were better. A couple of years in a lifetime meant nothing. I never knew that 'time' was the one thing we did not have. You kept pointing to pot-bellied old guys and telling me "that's going to be me!". I never thought that I would not get the chance to see you as "a pot-bellied old man".

I loved your smile, I loved your eyes, but most of all I fell in love with the person inside all of that. You made me laugh. You made me laugh a lot! You totally cracked me up. You also made me cry, and I hated that. Most of all, you made me feel alive. You were "the one". I love you, and although you have left an enormous gaping hole in my heart, I will never reget having met you and falling in love with you. If nothing else, I am glad that I made your last 10 months (mostly) happy. I would have preferred to make you last 30 years happy, but you had a time-bomb in you head. I ache, I hurt, I cry, but I will never regret loving you.

When you left, I broke your trust and told people about us. I'm sorry, I had to. I absolutely know how much your privacy meant to you, but I had to. It was the only way for me to survive. In love, keeping our secret was easy. In death, the pain of loss is so intense that I could not go through this alone. I trust that you understand. If you were here, I would talk to you. You always gave me the best advice. I don't know how you did it, but you always knew what was best for me.

The pain I feel at losing you is intense. Unimaginable. Indescribable. Even now I still ache. It is no longer the unimaginable, indescribable pain, but there is an incredible ache nonetheless, accompanied by a huge kick in the guts when the reality hits.

I think of everyone else I know that has died., and I feel sadness at the loss. I think of you, and how I lost you and I collapse. There is no comparison. Never again to hear your voice. Never again to see your smile. Never again to feel your touch or to laugh at something you have done or told me. Never again just quietly enjoying being together or enjoy talking to someone who understood me. None of my friends can understand the pain. I t is totally beyond understanding. I do not understand! Life protects you from imagining the pain.

For all the times I hope for understanding of my pain, I truly hope that none of my friends ever do. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I would hate for it to happen to a friend. I am astounded that death, which is such an integral part of life, is so hard to comprehend and cope with. Death. It is inevitable for all of us. Cold, hard, scientific fact. So why is it so hard to accept emotionally? Surely something so integral to life as death should be far easier to comprehend and accept. It isn't. Losing you has left an enourmous hole. Every day I try to fill it, but it's like filling the Grand Canyon a grain of sand at a time. Before I met you, I was happy. I did not believe in "love at first sight" or any of those "stupid" love songs that talked about love. Then I met you! Suddenly I was deleriously happy. I was consumed by emotions. Death is the same. Consumed by emotions, but this time they are debilitating rather than exhilerating. Some have told me that they would not be so upset: "I would do this...". They do not realise that emotions will totally overwhelm logical thoughts. One moment I was happily planning my next trip to see you, the next I am reading a heart stopping mail entitled "Sad News". I will never, ever forget that day, or that mail even though I wish every day that is was a bad nightmare. My blood still runs cold with the memory of that moment. A secret in happiness is exhilerating. A secret in pain it is a nightmare. Although those who I have told will never (hopefully) understand the pain, I am lucky that they are there for me, and they listen when I talk. For that I am eternally grateful. No, they are not you Hector, but they care, and they are here in the physical.

I am determined to get to a stage where 95% of the time when I think of you, I will smile at wonderful memories we shared. I am determined to make you proud of me, to live up to your expectations. I know that you always wanted me to be happy. To be satisfied. To have the best. I always wanted the same for you to.

I know that so far I have not been doing to well. Losing you has been far, far, far harder than anything I could have ever imagined. Unexpected devistation is the only way to explain it. I cry a lot, I wail a lot and I miss you immensely. How could I not? In such a short time, you became my everything. I loved you with all of my heart and soul. Despite all of the immense pain, I still firmly believe that it is better to have love and lost, than never to have loved at all. It is still hard to imagine life without you, and I still wonder how I can possibly survive without you. I know that I will, but I also know that it will be the most demanding challenge of my life. I will succeed, because this is what I want, and it is what you wish for me. I am determined not to disappoint you.

In closing my love, you changed my life. You expanded my horizons, you saw the real me. You were my lover, my soulmate, and my confidant. You were the love of my life. You were "the one". I will never forget you or the incredible gift you gave me just by being you. You will stay forever and always in my heart.

I love you now and I will ALWAYS love you. You were the most incredible person that I ever met, and I would give anything to have you back with me in the physical world that I know.

I LOVE YOU HECTOR. YOU ARE, AND ALWAYS WILL BE, THE LIGHT OF MY LIFE.

Kết quả (Việt) 1:

Khi tôi đã gặp bạn tôi đã không lên kế hoạch để rơi vào tình yêu. Tôi thậm chí không tìm kiếm một người bạn tốt nhất mới. Bạn thay đổi tất cả đó. Việc thu hút được điện và bất ngờ. Bạn đến vào thế giới của tôi và biến nó lộn ngược. Thời gian của chúng tôi đã được lousy, nhưng kết nối là không thể bỏ qua. Tâm trí hợp lý của chúng tôi đã cố gắng để kiểm soát, nhưng không bao giờ có một cơ hội. Tôi tin tưởng bạn ngầm, và bạn luôn luôn nói với tôi rằng bạn "tin tưởng tôi, và nhiều hơn nữa!". Bạn là người đầu tiên tôi đã cho thấy 'thực sự' tôi, và bạn đánh giá cao tôi cho tôi. Trong thời gian ngắn chúng tôi đã cùng nhau, bạn phát hiện ra thêm về tôi vì tôi đã bao giờ để cho bất cứ ai khác biết. Chúng tôi chia sẻ và rất nhiều, Tuy nhiên có đã vẫn còn rất nhiều để tìm hiểu. Tôi biết rất nhiều về bạn, và sau đó một lần nữa, rất ít. Tôi luôn luôn giả định rằng chúng tôi đã có rất nhiều thời gian. Rất nhiều tôi biết, nhưng rất nhiều tôi muốn tìm hiểu. Tình yêu của chúng tôi là một bí mật, và tôi đã được hạnh phúc, đủ để giữ cho rằng bí mật trong khi chúng tôi đã cố gắng để sắp xếp ra các đáng kinh ngạc "gây rối" chúng tôi đã nhận bản thân vào. Tôi cũng được hạnh phúc để chờ đợi cho đến khi trường hợp đã tốt hơn. Một vài năm trong cuộc đời có nghĩa là không có gì. Tôi không bao giờ biết rằng 'thời gian' là một trong những điều chúng tôi không có. Bạn giữ chỉ để pot-bụng cũ guys và nói cho tôi "đó sẽ là tôi!". Tôi chưa bao giờ nghĩ rằng tôi sẽ không nhận được cơ hội để xem bạn như là "một pot-bụng ông già". Tôi yêu nụ cười của bạn, tôi yêu đôi mắt của bạn, nhưng hầu hết tất cả tôi rơi trong tình yêu với người bên trong tất cả đó. Bạn làm cho tôi cười. Bạn làm cho tôi cười rất nhiều! Bạn hoàn toàn nứt tôi. Bạn cũng làm cho tôi khóc, và tôi ghét mà. Hầu hết tất cả, bạn làm cho tôi cảm thấy còn sống. Bạn đã là "the one". Tôi yêu bạn, và mặc dù bạn đã để lại một lổ lớn trong trái tim của tôi, tôi sẽ không bao giờ reget có gặp bạn và rơi vào tình yêu với bạn. Nếu không có gì khác, tôi vui mừng rằng tôi thực hiện của bạn 10 tháng qua (chủ yếu) hạnh phúc. Tôi đã có ưa thích để làm cho bạn qua 30 năm hạnh phúc, nhưng bạn đã có một quả bom thời gian trong đầu của bạn. Tôi đau, tôi tổn thương, tôi khóc, nhưng tôi sẽ không bao giờ hối tiếc yêu thương bạn. Khi bạn còn lại, tôi đã phá vỡ sự tin tưởng của bạn và nói với mọi người về chúng tôi. Tôi xin lỗi, tôi đã phải. Tôi hoàn toàn biết bao nhiêu bảo mật của bạn mà có nghĩa là cho bạn, nhưng tôi đã phải. Đó là cách duy nhất đối với tôi để tồn tại. Trong tình yêu, Giữ bí mật là dễ dàng. Trong cái chết, những đau đớn của mất mát là rất mạnh mẽ rằng tôi có thể không đi qua điều này một mình. Tôi tin tưởng rằng bạn hiểu. Nếu bạn đã ở đây, tôi sẽ nói chuyện với bạn. Bạn luôn luôn đã cho tôi những lời khuyên tốt nhất. Tôi không biết làm thế nào bạn đã làm nó, nhưng bạn luôn biết những gì là tốt nhất cho tôi. Đau tôi cảm thấy mất bạn có cường độ cao. Không thể tưởng tượng. Không thể miêu tả. Ngay cả bây giờ tôi vẫn còn đau. Nó không còn là những cơn đau không thể tưởng tượng, không thể miêu tả, nhưng có là một đau đáng kinh ngạc Tuy nhiên, kèm theo một kick lớn trong can đảm khi thực tế số truy cập. Tôi nghĩ của tất cả mọi người khác tôi biết rằng đã qua đời., và tôi cảm thấy nỗi buồn khi mất đi. Tôi nghĩ của bạn, và làm thế nào tôi mất bạn và tôi sụp đổ. Có là không có so sánh. Không bao giờ một lần nữa để nghe giọng nói của bạn. Không bao giờ một lần nữa để xem nụ cười của bạn. Không bao giờ một lần nữa cảm thấy liên lạc của bạn hoặc để cười cái gì bạn đã làm hoặc nói với tôi. Không bao giờ một lần nữa chỉ lặng lẽ tận hưởng được với nhau hoặc thưởng thức nói chuyện với một người hiểu tôi. Không ai trong số bạn bè của tôi có thể hiểu sự đau đớn. Tôi t là hoàn toàn vượt ra ngoài sự hiểu biết. Tôi không hiểu! Cuộc sống bảo vệ bạn từ tưởng tượng cơn đau. For all the times I hope for understanding of my pain, I truly hope that none of my friends ever do. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I would hate for it to happen to a friend. I am astounded that death, which is such an integral part of life, is so hard to comprehend and cope with. Death. It is inevitable for all of us. Cold, hard, scientific fact. So why is it so hard to accept emotionally? Surely something so integral to life as death should be far easier to comprehend and accept. It isn't. Losing you has left an enourmous hole. Every day I try to fill it, but it's like filling the Grand Canyon a grain of sand at a time. Before I met you, I was happy. I did not believe in "love at first sight" or any of those "stupid" love songs that talked about love. Then I met you! Suddenly I was deleriously happy. I was consumed by emotions. Death is the same. Consumed by emotions, but this time they are debilitating rather than exhilerating. Some have told me that they would not be so upset: "I would do this...". They do not realise that emotions will totally overwhelm logical thoughts. One moment I was happily planning my next trip to see you, the next I am reading a heart stopping mail entitled "Sad News". I will never, ever forget that day, or that mail even though I wish every day that is was a bad nightmare. My blood still runs cold with the memory of that moment. A secret in happiness is exhilerating. A secret in pain it is a nightmare. Although those who I have told will never (hopefully) understand the pain, I am lucky that they are there for me, and they listen when I talk. For that I am eternally grateful. No, they are not you Hector, but they care, and they are here in the physical. I am determined to get to a stage where 95% of the time when I think of you, I will smile at wonderful memories we shared. I am determined to make you proud of me, to live up to your expectations. I know that you always wanted me to be happy. To be satisfied. To have the best. I always wanted the same for you to. I know that so far I have not been doing to well. Losing you has been far, far, far harder than anything I could have ever imagined. Unexpected devistation is the only way to explain it. I cry a lot, I wail a lot and I miss you immensely. How could I not? In such a short time, you became my everything. I loved you with all of my heart and soul. Despite all of the immense pain, I still firmly believe that it is better to have love and lost, than never to have loved at all. It is still hard to imagine life without you, and I still wonder how I can possibly survive without you. I know that I will, but I also know that it will be the most demanding challenge of my life. I will succeed, because this is what I want, and it is what you wish for me. I am determined not to disappoint you. In closing my love, you changed my life. You expanded my horizons, you saw the real me. You were my lover, my soulmate, and my confidant. You were the love of my life. You were "the one". I will never forget you or the incredible gift you gave me just by being you. You will stay forever and always in my heart.
I love you now and I will ALWAYS love you. You were the most incredible person that I ever met, and I would give anything to have you back with me in the physical world that I know.

I LOVE YOU HECTOR. YOU ARE, AND ALWAYS WILL BE, THE LIGHT OF MY LIFE.