After I retired, my wife insisted t

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Walmart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Walmart

Dear Mrs. Woolf,

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Woolf, are listed below and are "documented by our video surveillance cameras":

1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-
minute intervals.

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the
employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted in management getting involved causing management to lose time and costing the company money.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to reserve a bag of
chips.

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the
children shoppers they could come in if they would bring pillows and
blankets from the bedding department - to which twenty children
obliged.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began
crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
Emergency Medics were called.

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the Sports department, he
asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the Store suspiciously while loudly
humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed
through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed the fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!

15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where the fitting room was.

And last, but not least:

16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in
here.' One of the Staff passed out.

Kết quả (Việt) 1:

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Walmart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local WalmartDear Mrs. Woolf,Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Woolf, are listed below and are "documented by our video surveillance cameras":1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to thewomen's restroom.4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an officialvoice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused theemployee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted in management getting involved causing management to lose time and costing the company money.5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to reserve a bag ofchips.6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told thecon người họ có thể đến nếu họ sẽ mang lại cho gối vàChăn từ bộ giường - cho những trẻ em hai mươinghĩa vụ.8. ngày 23 tháng 8: khi một nhân viên yêu cầu nếu họ có thể giúp anh ta, ông bắt đầukhóc và gào lên, 'tại sao không thể bạn chỉ để tôi yên?'Khẩn cấp Medics được gọi là.9. ngày 4 tháng 9: nhìn ngay vào các camera an ninh và sử dụng nó như một máy nhân bản trong khi ông đã chọn mũi của mình.10. ngày 10 tháng 9: trong khi xử lý súng ở thể thao tỉnh, ôngyêu cầu thư ký các thuốc chống trầm cảm ở đâu.11. ngày 3 tháng 10: Darted xung quanh các cửa hàng đáng ngờ trong khi lớn tiếngồn ào với chủ đề 'Mission Impossible'.12. ngày 6 tháng 10: Ở các bộ phận tự động, ông thực hành của mình 'Madonna nhìn' bằng cách sử dụng các kích cỡ khác nhau của ống khói.13. ngày 18 tháng 10: trốn trong một rack quần áo và khi mọi người duyệt quathông qua, hét ' chọn tôi! CHỌN TÔI!'14. ngày 22 tháng 10: khi một thông báo trên loa ngoài, ông đảm nhận vị trí bào thai và gào lên ' OH NO! ĐÓ LÀ NHỮNG TIẾNG NÓI MỘT LẦN NỮA!15. mất một hộp bao cao su để nhân viên kiểm tra và yêu cầu nơi lắp phòng của bạn.Và cuối cùng, nhưng không phải ít nhất:16. ngày 23 tháng 10: đã đi vào một căn phòng phù hợp, đóng cửa lại, chờ đợimột lúc, và sau đó hét rất lớn tiếng, ' Hey! Không có không có giấy vệ sinh trongđây.' Một trong số các nhân viên thông qua.