Part 1. Sacrifice Isn't Something t

Part 1. Sacrifice Isn't Something to Regret

When I wake up, I see Arata in front of our closet, putting clothes into his luggage. My heart breaks. My first thought is that he knows. He knows what I did last night and now he leaves me for betraying him.

"Arata...wait." I try to convince myself that I can still fix this.

He turns around with a smile on his face. Standing up from his pile of clothes, he slowly walks over to me.

Okay, wait. Something doesn't fit my first suspicion here. My next thought is that he already knew everything from the beginning. He lies to me. Asami pays him to be with me. Maybe even to spy and control me. And this thought doesn't make me feeling any better than the previous one. I can feel nausea creeps up from the deep of my stomach.

But he simply sits in front of me and kisses my lips gently. "Good morning, Aki, love," he says while brushing one of my stubborn bangs that covers my eye. I don't need to mention that I am speechless.

"Asami-sama told me that you didn't feel well last night so he arranged that you can leave early," he continues. I keep silent. I don't know what Asami told him and I don't want to ruin everything by blabbing. "We should thank him later. I am sorry I didn't notice it earlier. But he is so kind to help you. It seems he really admires your photos. But it is enough about him. Do you feel better already?" he asks me softly. His hand keeps rubbing my lower back in an effort to sooth me. I don't know what to say. 'Sweet Arata, you don't know how much your great Asami-sama helped me last night.'?

"Yes," I murmur. "What time is it now? And why do you pack? When do you arrive at home?" I can't keep from shooting my questions.

He chuckles, "Well, I can see that you feel well already. And to answer your question, it is 7 in the morning. I just arrived home at 5AM, I needed to go to office straight away from the party to make all the necessary arrangement before going back home to pack. That is why I really appreciate Asami-sama's help to send you back here," he pauses for a moment before he continues excitedly, "Asami-sama sealed the deal with my company last night. He said he was suddenly convinced that my company and I could improve his business. My boss was so ecstatic when I informed him. I swear he mentioned 'promotion' at least 4 times to me. Now I am leaving to Europe for a few weeks to handle one of Asami-sama's businesses there. I leave a note with my hotel details and phone number that you can contact."

There is so much information to process at once and I don't know where to start. "A few weeks? But we have dinner with your family this Saturday." Great, out of all the questions that are already on the tip of my tongue, I ask the most trivial one.

"I know," he puts more butterfly kisses along my jaw. Remembering how Asami sucks my neck just last night, I abruptly push him away. Arata takes my action as a sign of anger due to his sudden leaving to Europe, though, because he continues, "I know you don't like it when I suddenly need to go for a long time. I don't want to. But I have to do this. Asami-sama's approval last night means we are getting closer to our dream. We just need to endure it a bit longer. I am sure you can handle my family. Sometimes I think they even love you more than me." He laughs vibrantly. I am at loss of words.

I can't believe this. My poor boyfriend doesn't know anything. Asami hides it from him. And that bastard hooks my boyfriend through his company with this stupid business projects. Just like a fish, my boyfriend happily took the bait. I don't know whether I need to feel relieved or mad.

Does the bastard think he can lead me through my naive boyfriend around, ask me to do whatever he wants me to do, like a stupid dog doing any tricks his master commands to get a treat as its reward? Wait. Didn't he said something about a dog? What was it? I shake my head slowly. I can't remember anything after the mind-blowing orgasm last night.

I softly snort when I rewind what Arata told me just now in my mind. Asami said, he was 'suddenly convinced'? Convinced by what? My moan? My cum? It is clear as the day that this business projects are merely a trap to bind me to him. Asami doesn't 'suddenly convinced'. All his actions have been calculated long beforehand. It is clearly bullshits. And Arata is way too blinded with success that he believes Asami's blatant lies.

Arata takes a quick look at his watch before he says, "I am very sorry, Aki. But I am late already. I will contact you as soon as possible, okay?" He kisses me quickly on my lips. Then he stands, brushes my hair one last time, and grabs his luggage.

"I love you, Aki."

Staring at him like a complete idiot I am, I absentmindedly answer him, "I love you, too. "

I explain to the editors who call me that I am sick and need a rest. In fact, I just need to sort my thought. And being alone helps. Kou and Takato call me several times during that period, asking me to go out with them. I told them that I don't feel well. They laughs, teasing me that it is because Arata is away for a few weeks that I feel sick missing him. I laugh with them.

Asami send me a message on the first day. He asks how do I feel. Whether I am okay or not. Whether MY BODY is okay or not. I ignore him. I am so mad at him. But moreover, I am mad at myself for reacting so strongly at his stupid message. It looks like my body doesn't get the memo that the bastard just practically blackmails me into doing whatever he wants. Instead, I can feel my traitorous body starts to get aroused at the first prospect of having another rendezvous with the bastard. How on earth one fucking text message makes my cock half-erect in less than 5 seconds, I totally have no idea. There must be a scientific name for this kind of syndrome, though. Fortunately for me, Asami doesn't send anymore message after that. I don't think my sanity can stand more of his message.

Arata calls me every night. Our conversations always fill me with guilt. I feel really bad to hide the truth from him. I consider the possibility to explain everything through phone. But it just seems rude. This is something we need to discuss face to face. IF I ever decide to talk to him about this. Besides, he sounds so excited with this new project and opportunity, I don't have the heart to break his illusion. So, I decide to wait.

Saturday comes and I go by myself to Arata's family house. I bring his nephews and niece's favorites food. His family is larger than mine; his mother, father, older sister, 2 young nephews and 1 baby niece. His sister's husband left her with debt when she is pregnant with Arata's baby niece. It was around the time he meet me. She works now and his father helps to pay the debt as well, but it is just not enough. The debt is too much. Luckily Arata's income is quite stable for the last few years and he supports his family a lot. His care with his family is one of the reason I love him so much.

His mother welcomes me as she opens the door. Sadness and stress makes her ages faster, and lately she starts getting sick often. I am really worried about her like I will to my own mother. As she hugs me tight, I tease her, "You will choke me to death at this rate, Aiko-san."

With a smile on her face, she replies, "It is 'mother', Aki. I see you as my own son, already. I hope you can see me as your own mother as well."

Her words that usually warm me up, now stab me directly at the most sensitive part of my heart. But I force myself to smile and answer, "Thank you, mother."

All Arata's nephews and nieces run downstairs after that. Once they see me, they jump towards me. Each one asks for my attention. His father waves at me from the living room while his sister is busy at the kitchen. I come to the kitchen with the food that I bring. Mariko kisses me on the cheek before pushing me away to the living room. She can handle the cooking and let the guest of honor enjoys the night, she said.

I know I am lucky. It is not often a family welcomes their son's boyfriend so openly. In fact, I am sure it is quite rare not only in Japan but also in most Asian country. But Arata's family welcomes me with open hands. And for that, I feel so thankful. Sometimes, I think, their horrible experience with his sister's husband helps them to accept our relationship easier.

All the way during the dinner, I can't help but ponder that somehow I have cheated not only to Arata, but also to his family. It makes me feel really bad. But at the same time, I also realized that a small part of me feel relief to meet Asami again. For whatever reason it may be, I feel really alive after all these years. It is so confusing and I am not the type who dwells too much in self-pity, so I decide to put it aside. What will be will be.

On my way out after the dinner, Aiko-san stops me in front of the door.

"Thank you, Aki. We are really grateful for you being Arata's partner. He changes since he met you. I see that he now knows his purpose in life. Before it seems like he was lost, working hard without any meaning. He also cares more with his family. It is all thanks to you. I know it is hard for you that he has so little time left, especially since now he will need to focus on his big projects. But trust me that he does that for your future together. He always wants to make you happy. So, stay with him, okay? Please, Aki, this is my only request."

I choke. I blink my eyes several times to push my tears back. I don't know what to say or what to do. If I talk, I feel like I will break down in front of her and tell her all the hard truth that will just break her heart. And she already has enough in her plate without having to grief on mine. So I just nod.

I don't really remember how I get home. My body just moves automatically since my brain refuses to do its work properly. If I let my brain think, even for a second, it will only think about all the unhappiness. And right now, I don