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Sungyeol regrets getting the tattoo
Sungyeol regrets getting the tattoo.
It had been such a good idea at the time – no, rewind, it hadn’t. He’d gotten it on a whim, if that was the right thing to say.
Probably not. He’d gotten it because it had been the only thing he could do, the only sane thing on his mind other than plan a) throw myself off a rooftop. Sungyeol hadn’t known what to do other than to go to the nearest tattoo parlor and have the characters etched out on his neck.
He remembers the pain, all of it, all of the torment and the anguish and the hurt.
Oh, but he’s not talking about the physical pain – he was talking about the mental pain.
It’s 8 PM when he leaves his house. Their house. His house now. His lonely house with nothing but two pairs of everything but only one person to use them.
He passes by the arcade first and sits on the bench in front of it, stretching his long legs out and wondering when the sky had turned so dark.
But it’s only dark on the outside; in his mind, the sky is bright and shining and the streets are busy again. There are cars driving back and forth and people walking through the sidewalks.
“Didn’t you, like, used to always come here?” a boy around the age of 14 said, hair relentlessly forgotten as it splayed un-groomed on his head.
“Yeah,” his friend next to him snorted, pulling on the other’s elbow. “Not so much anymore.”
“Why not?” the first asked. When his friend refused to give him an answer, he rolled his eyes and said, “Sungyeol, tell me.”
“I don’t find games that interesting anymore,” Sungyeol admitted, a little half smile coming up on his lips, and the only thing Myungsoo could think was that he hoped that that meant something special in terms of them.
The older looked up at the sky and sighed blissfully. “Ever since my mom got me a Nintendo, at least.”
Myungsoo let his face falter before hitting Sungyeol on the arm as hard as he could. “You jerk.”
Sungyeol only laughed, looking the other way as he grabbed onto his friend’s forearm and got ready to run. “C’mon, there’s more places we can go!”
Sungyeol swears these aren’t tears, he swears he’s not getting emotional. He’s had too much of this, there was a reason he left the house – he couldn’t stand this anymore.
“,” he hisses as he stands up, rubbing his hands on the denim of his thighs. He’s so done with all of this, he isn’t taking it anymore. He can’t.
So he takes a walk a few blocks further – the streetlights are getting brighter and the sidewalks are slowly closing from groups to couples.
And Sungyeol still finds himself alone as he holds his posture, staring at the sign where he finds himself – the one place most kids continue to loiter to despite their age.
The ice cream shop.
He tries so hard to not let his imagination run wild, he tries so hard to unblur his eyes and he just, he just tries so very hard to not take notice of the two figures standing before the cashier.
“You have to order something,” Sungyeol bugged Myungsoo, pointing at the menu above them. “We don’t have all day.”
“Wait, I need to think,” Myungsoo frowned, concentrating harder than anything. The employee standing in front of them didn’t really look like she cared.
“Do you want me to choose for you?”
And at that moment, Myungsoo turned to his best friend with wide eyes, glowing and glistening underneath the ice cream shop lights. It said everything in just one look, one glance – you’re my savior.
The only thing Sungyeol could do was break into a smile. God, Myungsoo was so adorable when he wanted to be.
“He’ll take the same thing as me, please,” Sungyeol shrugged to the cashier.
“Couple ice cream flavors too, shocker,” the girl drawled on, rolling her eyes as she pressed in the pre-memorized orders.
“W-wait no, no, we’re not a couple,” Sungyeol immediately shot in, shaking his head furiously. His hands were moving back and forth too, in such a rush to deny what she had said. “He’s just –“
“The last thing we would be is a couple,” Myungsoo interrupted barely four seconds in, “Sungyeol hyung’s much too good to be stuck with someone like me –“
“Wait, what?” Sungyeol stopped everything and turned towards the other, the most incredulous look plastered on his face. “What?”
Myungsoo’s eyes couldn’t help being shot back and forth, all of a sudden embarrassed that all the spotlight was on him. “…What?”
“What do you mean, ‘Sungyeol hyung’s too good to be stuck with someone like me’? What the hell, Myungsoo?”
“I mean, it’s true, isn’t it?” It was so evident that the younger was flustered, not sure if he was supposed to look Sungyeol dead in the eye or keep his eyesight glued to the floor.
“No! – Myungsoo, no, oh my God if I were to ever fall in love with a guy it would be you!”
And at this point, the girl behind the cash register only tapped the counter more, letting her eyes roll once again. “How surprising.”
“No, you, you –“ Sungyeol pointed at the girl, “you stay out of this. Now Myungsoo, you need to understand this, I’m not ‘too good’ for you or anything –“
“Of course you are! Why would you ever like someone like me, I’m –“
“What’s not to like about you? You’re the most polite, most kindest, most I DON’T KNOW, most everything and, and –“
“And you love him, what a revelation!” the girl fake-shuddered, making little sarcastic jazz hands in the air. “Get over it, you’re in love with too-shy-to-order boy.”
“I’m not too shy to order, I’m just indecisive with ice cream flavors!” Myungsoo protested, turning to the girl.
“…I love you?”
“At least you’re not as indecisive as your boyfriend over here,” she nearly scoffed out. “’Oh, we’re not a couple’, ‘oh, I lied, you’re everything, I LOVE YOU’.”
“God you’re annoying.”
“You love me?”
Sungyeol froze at the tone Myungsoo had, feeling something surge through his body. “Wow.”
“I’ll call to stop the orders,” the girl smirked. “Y’all have enough sugar here to last a lifetime.”
A lifetime’s that run out.
A lifetime really isn’t that long, and that’s the only thing Sungyeol can think before he forces himself to look away from the shop. The lights are off and it’s way past closing hour, and he thinks that maybe in a day or two if he feels alive again he’ll go back in to visit the girl.
But as he keeps walking, he thinks that he probably won’t. She reminds him too much of the past, of what had been, of what was there. Sungyeol can’t face that probably ever.
So he keeps walking, he walks until he gets to a crossroad. He can count the number of cars passing through the roads on one hand but he proceeds to press the walk button anyways. It’s the least he can do.
He doesn’t want to die. His lifetime isn’t up yet.
When Sungyeol reaches his destination, he takes a seat on a wooden bench. It’s overlooking the playground that’s been there for as long as he can remember – it’s never been taken down and there’s still the biggest chance it won’t be.
The wind’s causing the swingset to continuously maneuver back and forth, and back and forth, and back and forth…Sungyeol feels the breeze behind his ear and because of this, he isn’t too frightened that there’s a supernatural happening occurring anywhere near him.
But it’s swinging, and still swinging, and continuously swinging. He looks up at the sky and it’s still dark, but when his eyes go back down, he finds that he’s not alone in this playground.
“What time do you need to be home?”
“My mom trusts you enough to let me be out late,” Myungsoo shrugged, smiling. He just loves how much his mom adores Sungyeol, it’s worked to his advantage so well so many times.
Sungyeol could only snort at the look on his boyfriend’s face. “Sometimes I feel like the only reason why you’re dating me is because I’m your ticket to freedom.”
“I’m not saying anything to defy that,” the other half-smiled, “but I can add to it. I’m also dating you because you’re very attractive, because you’re very cuddable, because you make me very happy, because you’re very good to me, because –“
“Does your vocabulary consist of anything besides because and very? Because I’m starting to think not.”
Myungsoo just gleefully laughed, wrapping his arms around the chains of the swing. “Let’s play a game.”
“Is this your way of evading the acceptance of your kindergarten level skills because –“
“Truth or truth.”
“That’s not even a game, Myungsoo.”
“Does the night just take away your fun side? You were the one saying that you wanted to run across the road and jump on a car and see how long you’d survive. And that was this morning.”
“I accept. I choose truth.”
“Truth? Okay. How much do you love me?”
Sungyeol laughed, rolling his eyes. “A lot, Myungsoo. A lot more than you could imagine.”
“Truth!!”
“How much do you love me, Kim Myungsoo?”
“Enough to remember y
It had been such a good idea at the time – no, rewind, it hadn’t. He’d gotten it on a whim, if that was the right thing to say.
Probably not. He’d gotten it because it had been the only thing he could do, the only sane thing on his mind other than plan a) throw myself off a rooftop. Sungyeol hadn’t known what to do other than to go to the nearest tattoo parlor and have the characters etched out on his neck.
He remembers the pain, all of it, all of the torment and the anguish and the hurt.
Oh, but he’s not talking about the physical pain – he was talking about the mental pain.
It’s 8 PM when he leaves his house. Their house. His house now. His lonely house with nothing but two pairs of everything but only one person to use them.
He passes by the arcade first and sits on the bench in front of it, stretching his long legs out and wondering when the sky had turned so dark.
But it’s only dark on the outside; in his mind, the sky is bright and shining and the streets are busy again. There are cars driving back and forth and people walking through the sidewalks.
“Didn’t you, like, used to always come here?” a boy around the age of 14 said, hair relentlessly forgotten as it splayed un-groomed on his head.
“Yeah,” his friend next to him snorted, pulling on the other’s elbow. “Not so much anymore.”
“Why not?” the first asked. When his friend refused to give him an answer, he rolled his eyes and said, “Sungyeol, tell me.”
“I don’t find games that interesting anymore,” Sungyeol admitted, a little half smile coming up on his lips, and the only thing Myungsoo could think was that he hoped that that meant something special in terms of them.
The older looked up at the sky and sighed blissfully. “Ever since my mom got me a Nintendo, at least.”
Myungsoo let his face falter before hitting Sungyeol on the arm as hard as he could. “You jerk.”
Sungyeol only laughed, looking the other way as he grabbed onto his friend’s forearm and got ready to run. “C’mon, there’s more places we can go!”
Sungyeol swears these aren’t tears, he swears he’s not getting emotional. He’s had too much of this, there was a reason he left the house – he couldn’t stand this anymore.
“,” he hisses as he stands up, rubbing his hands on the denim of his thighs. He’s so done with all of this, he isn’t taking it anymore. He can’t.
So he takes a walk a few blocks further – the streetlights are getting brighter and the sidewalks are slowly closing from groups to couples.
And Sungyeol still finds himself alone as he holds his posture, staring at the sign where he finds himself – the one place most kids continue to loiter to despite their age.
The ice cream shop.
He tries so hard to not let his imagination run wild, he tries so hard to unblur his eyes and he just, he just tries so very hard to not take notice of the two figures standing before the cashier.
“You have to order something,” Sungyeol bugged Myungsoo, pointing at the menu above them. “We don’t have all day.”
“Wait, I need to think,” Myungsoo frowned, concentrating harder than anything. The employee standing in front of them didn’t really look like she cared.
“Do you want me to choose for you?”
And at that moment, Myungsoo turned to his best friend with wide eyes, glowing and glistening underneath the ice cream shop lights. It said everything in just one look, one glance – you’re my savior.
The only thing Sungyeol could do was break into a smile. God, Myungsoo was so adorable when he wanted to be.
“He’ll take the same thing as me, please,” Sungyeol shrugged to the cashier.
“Couple ice cream flavors too, shocker,” the girl drawled on, rolling her eyes as she pressed in the pre-memorized orders.
“W-wait no, no, we’re not a couple,” Sungyeol immediately shot in, shaking his head furiously. His hands were moving back and forth too, in such a rush to deny what she had said. “He’s just –“
“The last thing we would be is a couple,” Myungsoo interrupted barely four seconds in, “Sungyeol hyung’s much too good to be stuck with someone like me –“
“Wait, what?” Sungyeol stopped everything and turned towards the other, the most incredulous look plastered on his face. “What?”
Myungsoo’s eyes couldn’t help being shot back and forth, all of a sudden embarrassed that all the spotlight was on him. “…What?”
“What do you mean, ‘Sungyeol hyung’s too good to be stuck with someone like me’? What the hell, Myungsoo?”
“I mean, it’s true, isn’t it?” It was so evident that the younger was flustered, not sure if he was supposed to look Sungyeol dead in the eye or keep his eyesight glued to the floor.
“No! – Myungsoo, no, oh my God if I were to ever fall in love with a guy it would be you!”
And at this point, the girl behind the cash register only tapped the counter more, letting her eyes roll once again. “How surprising.”
“No, you, you –“ Sungyeol pointed at the girl, “you stay out of this. Now Myungsoo, you need to understand this, I’m not ‘too good’ for you or anything –“
“Of course you are! Why would you ever like someone like me, I’m –“
“What’s not to like about you? You’re the most polite, most kindest, most I DON’T KNOW, most everything and, and –“
“And you love him, what a revelation!” the girl fake-shuddered, making little sarcastic jazz hands in the air. “Get over it, you’re in love with too-shy-to-order boy.”
“I’m not too shy to order, I’m just indecisive with ice cream flavors!” Myungsoo protested, turning to the girl.
“…I love you?”
“At least you’re not as indecisive as your boyfriend over here,” she nearly scoffed out. “’Oh, we’re not a couple’, ‘oh, I lied, you’re everything, I LOVE YOU’.”
“God you’re annoying.”
“You love me?”
Sungyeol froze at the tone Myungsoo had, feeling something surge through his body. “Wow.”
“I’ll call to stop the orders,” the girl smirked. “Y’all have enough sugar here to last a lifetime.”
A lifetime’s that run out.
A lifetime really isn’t that long, and that’s the only thing Sungyeol can think before he forces himself to look away from the shop. The lights are off and it’s way past closing hour, and he thinks that maybe in a day or two if he feels alive again he’ll go back in to visit the girl.
But as he keeps walking, he thinks that he probably won’t. She reminds him too much of the past, of what had been, of what was there. Sungyeol can’t face that probably ever.
So he keeps walking, he walks until he gets to a crossroad. He can count the number of cars passing through the roads on one hand but he proceeds to press the walk button anyways. It’s the least he can do.
He doesn’t want to die. His lifetime isn’t up yet.
When Sungyeol reaches his destination, he takes a seat on a wooden bench. It’s overlooking the playground that’s been there for as long as he can remember – it’s never been taken down and there’s still the biggest chance it won’t be.
The wind’s causing the swingset to continuously maneuver back and forth, and back and forth, and back and forth…Sungyeol feels the breeze behind his ear and because of this, he isn’t too frightened that there’s a supernatural happening occurring anywhere near him.
But it’s swinging, and still swinging, and continuously swinging. He looks up at the sky and it’s still dark, but when his eyes go back down, he finds that he’s not alone in this playground.
“What time do you need to be home?”
“My mom trusts you enough to let me be out late,” Myungsoo shrugged, smiling. He just loves how much his mom adores Sungyeol, it’s worked to his advantage so well so many times.
Sungyeol could only snort at the look on his boyfriend’s face. “Sometimes I feel like the only reason why you’re dating me is because I’m your ticket to freedom.”
“I’m not saying anything to defy that,” the other half-smiled, “but I can add to it. I’m also dating you because you’re very attractive, because you’re very cuddable, because you make me very happy, because you’re very good to me, because –“
“Does your vocabulary consist of anything besides because and very? Because I’m starting to think not.”
Myungsoo just gleefully laughed, wrapping his arms around the chains of the swing. “Let’s play a game.”
“Is this your way of evading the acceptance of your kindergarten level skills because –“
“Truth or truth.”
“That’s not even a game, Myungsoo.”
“Does the night just take away your fun side? You were the one saying that you wanted to run across the road and jump on a car and see how long you’d survive. And that was this morning.”
“I accept. I choose truth.”
“Truth? Okay. How much do you love me?”
Sungyeol laughed, rolling his eyes. “A lot, Myungsoo. A lot more than you could imagine.”
“Truth!!”
“How much do you love me, Kim Myungsoo?”
“Enough to remember y
0/5000
Sungyeol hối tiếc nhận xăm. Nó đã là như vậy là một ý tưởng tốt vào lúc đó-không, nhìn lại, nó đã không. Ông đã nhận nó trên một whim, nếu đó là việc đúng đắn phải nói. Có lẽ không. Ông đã nhận nó bởi vì nó đã là những điều duy nhất ông có thể làm, những điều chỉ sane vào tâm trí của mình khác hơn so với kế hoạch một) ném bản thân mình ra khỏi một trên tầng mái. Sungyeol đã không biết những gì để làm khác hơn để đi đến cửa hiệu xăm gần nhất và có các ký tự khắc ra trên cổ của ông. Ông nhớ lại đau, tất cả của nó, tất cả các nổi đau khổ và nỗi đau đớn và tổn thương. Oh, nhưng ông không nói về nỗi đau thể chất-ông đã nói về nỗi đau tâm thần. Nó là 8 PM khi ông rời khỏi nhà của mình. Nhà của họ. Nhà của ông bây giờ. Nhà của ông cô đơn với không có gì nhưng hai cặp của tất cả mọi thứ nhưng chỉ có một người sử dụng chúng. Ông vượt qua bởi arcade đầu tiên và ngồi trên băng ghế ở phía trước của nó, kéo dài đôi chân dài của mình ra và tự hỏi khi bầu trời đã biến như vậy tối. Nhưng nó là duy nhất tối bên ngoài; trong tâm trí của mình, bầu trời là sáng và sáng và các đường phố đang bận rộn một lần nữa. Không có xe lái xe trở lại và ra, có người đi bộ qua các vỉa hè. "Không bạn, như, sử dụng tới luôn luôn ở đây?" một cậu bé xung quanh thành phố 14 tuổi nói rằng, tóc không ngừng quên như nó splayed un-groomed trên đầu. "Vâng," bạn bè của mình bên cạnh anh ta snorted, kéo trên khuỷu tay của nhau. "Không còn nữa." "Tại sao không?" là người đầu tiên hỏi. Khi người bạn của ông đã từ chối để cho anh ta một câu trả lời, ông cán đôi mắt của mình và nói, "Sungyeol, cho tôi biết." "Tôi không tìm thấy trò chơi thú vị nữa," Sungyeol thừa nhận, một nụ cười một nửa ít sắp lên trên đôi môi của mình, và điều duy nhất Myungsoo có thể nghĩ rằng ông ta hy vọng rằng có nghĩa là một cái gì đó đặc biệt trong điều khoản của họ. Các lớn nhìn lên bầu trời và thở dài blissfully. "Kể từ khi mẹ tôi đã cho tôi một Nintendo, ít." Myungsoo Hãy để khuôn mặt của mình ngập ngừng trước khi hitting Sungyeol trên cánh tay cứng như ông có thể. "Bạn jerk." Sungyeol chỉ cười, tìm cách khác như ông nắm lấy lên cánh tay của bạn mình và đã sẵn sàng để chạy. "Thôi mà, không có nhiều nơi chúng tôi có thể đi!" Sungyeol swears đây không phải là nước mắt, ông swears ông không nhận được tình cảm. Ông có quá nhiều về điều này, có một lý do ông rời nhà-ông không thể đứng này nữa. "," ông hisses khi ông đứng lên, cọ xát bàn tay của mình trên denim của bắp đùi của ông. Ông nên được thực hiện với tất cả điều này, ông không dùng nó nữa. Hắn không thể. Vì vậy, ông mất đi bộ một vài khối thêm-các đèn đường đang nhận được sáng hơn và vỉa hè chậm đóng cửa từ nhóm cho cặp vợ chồng. Và Sungyeol vẫn còn tìm thấy mình một mình như ông giữ tư thế của mình, nhìn chằm chằm đăng nơi ông thấy mình-một nơi hầu hết trẻ em tiếp tục đi lang thang để mặc dù tuổi của họ vào. Cửa hàng kem. Ông cố gắng khó khăn như vậy để không để cho trí tưởng tượng chạy hoang dã của mình, ông cố gắng khó khăn như vậy để unblur đôi mắt của mình và ông chỉ, ông chỉ cần cố gắng vì vậy rất khó để không có thông báo của hai con số đứng trước khi thu ngân. "Bạn có để đặt hàng một cái gì đó," Sungyeol nghe trộm Myungsoo, trỏ vào trình đơn ở trên chúng. "Chúng tôi không có tất cả các ngày." "Chờ đợi, tôi cần phải suy nghĩ," Myungsoo cau mày, tập trung nhiều hơn so với bất cứ điều gì. Nhân viên đứng ở phía trước của họ không thực sự giống như cô quan tâm. "Làm bạn muốn tôi để lựa chọn cho bạn?" Và tại thời điểm đó, Myungsoo quay sang người bạn của mình tốt nhất với đôi mắt rộng, phát sáng và gleaming bên dưới băng kem cửa hàng đèn. Nó cho biết tất cả mọi thứ trong chỉ là một cái nhìn, một thoáng-bạn đang cứu Chúa của tôi. Điều duy nhất Sungyeol có thể làm là phá vỡ vào một nụ cười. Thiên Chúa, Myungsoo là đó thật đáng yêu khi ông muốn. "Ông sẽ có cùng một điều như tôi, xin vui lòng," Sungyeol shrugged để thu ngân. "Vài kem hương vị quá, gây sốc," cô gái drawled, cán đôi mắt của cô như cô ép trong các đơn đặt hàng trước nhớ. "W-chờ đợi không, không, chúng tôi không phải một vài," Sungyeol ngay lập tức bị bắn trong, lắc đầu giận dữ. Bàn tay của ông đã di chuyển trở lại và ra quá, trong một cơn sốt để từ chối những gì cô đã nói. "Ông là chỉ" "Điều cuối cùng chúng ta sẽ là một vài," Myungsoo gián đoạn barely bốn giây trong, "Sungyeol hyung của nhiều quá tốt để được bị mắc kẹt với một người như tôi" "Chờ đợi, những gì?" Sungyeol dừng lại tất cả mọi thứ và quay theo hướng khác, không tin đặt nhìn trát vữa trên khuôn mặt của mình. "Những gì?" Myungsoo của mắt không thể giúp đỡ bắn trở lại và ra, tất cả một đột ngột xấu hổ rằng tất cả sự chú ý về anh ta. “…Những gì?" "Những gì làm bạn có nghĩa là, 'Sungyeol hyung của quá tốt để được bị mắc kẹt với một người như tôi'? Những gì địa ngục, Myungsoo?" "Tôi có nghĩa là, đó là sự thật, không phải là nó?" Nó đã như vậy hiển nhiên rằng các em được flustered, không chắc chắn nếu ông là nghĩa vụ phải nhìn Sungyeol chết vào mắt hoặc giữ thị lực dán xuống sàn nhà. "Không! -Myungsoo, không, Ôi Thiên Chúa của tôi nếu tôi đã bao giờ rơi vào tình yêu với một người đàn ông nó sẽ là bạn! " Và tại thời điểm này, các cô gái phía sau tiền mặt đăng ký chỉ khai thác các truy cập thêm, để cho đôi mắt của cô cuộn một lần nữa. "Làm thế nào đáng ngạc nhiên." "Không, anh bạn-" Sungyeol chỉ lúc các cô gái, "bạn ở lại ra khỏi đây. Bây giờ Myungsoo, bạn cần phải hiểu điều này, tôi không phải 'quá tốt' cho bạn hoặc bất cứ điều gì " "Tất nhiên bạn đang! Tại sao bạn sẽ bao giờ giống như một người như tôi, tôi là " "Những gì là không để thích về bạn? Bạn đang đặt lịch sự, đặt kindest, những tôi không biết, hầu hết tất cả mọi thứ và, và " "Và bạn tình yêu anh ta, những gì một sự mặc khải!" cô gái giả-rùng, làm cho ít châm biếm jazz bàn tay trong không khí. "Get trên nó, bạn đang ở trong tình yêu với cậu bé quá nhút nhát-để-đặt hàng." "Tôi không phải là quá nhút nhát để đặt hàng, tôi chỉ indecisive với hương vị kem!" Myungsoo phản đối, chuyển sang các cô gái. “…I love you?" "Ít bạn đang không indecisive là bạn trai của bạn ở đây," cô ấy gần scoffed ra. "'Oh, chúng tôi không phải một vài', 'oh, tôi nói dối, bạn đang tất cả mọi thứ, I LOVE YOU'." "Thiên Chúa bạn đang khó chịu." "You love me?" Sungyeol đã đóng băng lúc giai điệu Myungsoo đã có, cảm thấy một cái gì đó tăng thông qua cơ thể của mình. "Wow." "Tôi sẽ gọi để ngăn chặn các đơn đặt hàng," cô gái cười. "Mọi người có đủ lượng đường ở đây đến cuối một đời." Một đời của rằng chạy ra. Một đời thực sự không phải là dài, và đó là điều duy nhất Sungyeol có thể nghĩ rằng trước khi ông lực lượng chính mình để nhìn từ cửa hàng. Đèn là tắt và đó là cách quá khứ đóng cửa giờ, và ông nghĩ rằng đó có lẽ trong một hoặc hai ngày nếu anh cảm thấy còn sống một lần nữa anh sẽ trở lại để truy cập vào các cô gái. Nhưng khi ông giữ đi bộ, ông nghĩ rằng ông có lẽ sẽ không. Cô nhắc anh ta quá nhiều của quá khứ, của những gì đã, của những gì đã có. Sungyeol không thể đối mặt mà có thể bao giờ. Do đó, ông giữ đi bộ, ông đi cho đến khi anh ta sẽ đến một ngã tư. Ông có thể đếm số lượng xe ô tô đi qua tuyến đường trên một bàn tay nhưng ông tiến nhấn nút đi anyway. Nó ít nhất ông có thể làm. Ông không muốn chết. Cuộc đời của mình không lên được nêu ra. Khi Sungyeol đạt đến đích của mình, ông đã mất một chỗ ngồi trên một băng ghế gỗ. Nó nhìn ra Sân chơi đã có cho tới chừng nào anh ta có thể nhớ-không bao giờ được đưa xuống và chỗ ở này vẫn còn có cơ hội lớn nhất, nó sẽ không. Gió gây ra swingset để liên tục cơ động trở lại và ra, và trở lại và ra, và trở lại và ra...Sungyeol cảm thấy gió phía sau tai của ông và vì ông này, không phải là quá sợ hãi là một xảy ra siêu nhiên xảy ra bất cứ nơi nào gần anh ta. Nhưng nó swinging, và vẫn còn swinging, và liên tục swinging. Ông nhìn vào bầu trời và nó vẫn tối, nhưng khi đôi mắt của mình trở lại, ông thấy rằng ông không phải là một mình trong Sân chơi này. "Những gì thời gian bạn cần phải nhà?" "Mẹ tôi tin tưởng bạn đủ để cho tôi ra vào cuối," Myungsoo shrugged, mỉm cười. Ông chỉ yêu thương bao nhiêu mẹ adores Sungyeol, nó làm việc cho lợi ích của mình vì vậy cũng rất nhiều lần. Sungyeol có thể chỉ snort lúc nhìn trên khuôn mặt của bạn trai của mình. "Đôi khi tôi cảm thấy như lý do tại sao bạn đang hẹn hò với tôi vì tôi là vé của bạn để tự do." "Tôi không nói bất cứ điều gì để coi re," các khác nửa-cười, "nhưng tôi có thể thêm vào nó. Tôi cũng đang hẹn hò bạn bởi vì bạn đang rất hấp dẫn, bởi vì bạn đang rất cuddable, bởi vì bạn làm cho tôi rất hạnh phúc, bởi vì bạn đang rất tốt với tôi, bởi vì " "Có vốn từ vựng của bạn bao gồm của bất cứ điều gì ngoài vì và rất? Bởi vì tôi bắt đầu nghĩ rằng không." Myungsoo chỉ gleefully cười, gói cánh tay của mình xung quanh các chuỗi của swing. "Chúng ta hãy chơi một trò chơi." "Đây có phải là của bạn cách để trốn tránh sự chấp nhận của kỹ năng cấp mẫu giáo vì" "Sự thật hoặc thật." "Đó không phải là một trò chơi, Myungsoo." "Không đêm chỉ lấy đi của bạn vui vẻ bên? Bạn là một nói rằng bạn muốn chạy trên đường và nhảy vào một chiếc xe và xem bao lâu bạn sẽ sống sót. "Và đó là buổi sáng này." "Tôi chấp nhận. Tôi chọn thật." "Sự thật? Ok. Bao nhiêu bạn yêu tôi?" Sungyeol cười, cán đôi mắt của mình. "Rất nhiều, Myungsoo. Nhiều hơn hơn bạn có thể tưởng tượng." "Thật!!" "Bao nhiêu bạn yêu tôi, Kim Myungsoo?" "Đủ để nhớ y
đang được dịch, vui lòng đợi..
Sungyeol regrets getting the tattoo.
It had been such a good idea at the time – no, rewind, it hadn’t. He’d gotten it on a whim, if that was the right thing to say.
Probably not. He’d gotten it because it had been the only thing he could do, the only sane thing on his mind other than plan a) throw myself off a rooftop. Sungyeol hadn’t known what to do other than to go to the nearest tattoo parlor and have the characters etched out on his neck.
He remembers the pain, all of it, all of the torment and the anguish and the hurt.
Oh, but he’s not talking about the physical pain – he was talking about the mental pain.
It’s 8 PM when he leaves his house. Their house. His house now. His lonely house with nothing but two pairs of everything but only one person to use them.
He passes by the arcade first and sits on the bench in front of it, stretching his long legs out and wondering when the sky had turned so dark.
But it’s only dark on the outside; in his mind, the sky is bright and shining and the streets are busy again. There are cars driving back and forth and people walking through the sidewalks.
“Didn’t you, like, used to always come here?” a boy around the age of 14 said, hair relentlessly forgotten as it splayed un-groomed on his head.
“Yeah,” his friend next to him snorted, pulling on the other’s elbow. “Not so much anymore.”
“Why not?” the first asked. When his friend refused to give him an answer, he rolled his eyes and said, “Sungyeol, tell me.”
“I don’t find games that interesting anymore,” Sungyeol admitted, a little half smile coming up on his lips, and the only thing Myungsoo could think was that he hoped that that meant something special in terms of them.
The older looked up at the sky and sighed blissfully. “Ever since my mom got me a Nintendo, at least.”
Myungsoo let his face falter before hitting Sungyeol on the arm as hard as he could. “You jerk.”
Sungyeol only laughed, looking the other way as he grabbed onto his friend’s forearm and got ready to run. “C’mon, there’s more places we can go!”
Sungyeol swears these aren’t tears, he swears he’s not getting emotional. He’s had too much of this, there was a reason he left the house – he couldn’t stand this anymore.
“,” he hisses as he stands up, rubbing his hands on the denim of his thighs. He’s so done with all of this, he isn’t taking it anymore. He can’t.
So he takes a walk a few blocks further – the streetlights are getting brighter and the sidewalks are slowly closing from groups to couples.
And Sungyeol still finds himself alone as he holds his posture, staring at the sign where he finds himself – the one place most kids continue to loiter to despite their age.
The ice cream shop.
He tries so hard to not let his imagination run wild, he tries so hard to unblur his eyes and he just, he just tries so very hard to not take notice of the two figures standing before the cashier.
“You have to order something,” Sungyeol bugged Myungsoo, pointing at the menu above them. “We don’t have all day.”
“Wait, I need to think,” Myungsoo frowned, concentrating harder than anything. The employee standing in front of them didn’t really look like she cared.
“Do you want me to choose for you?”
And at that moment, Myungsoo turned to his best friend with wide eyes, glowing and glistening underneath the ice cream shop lights. It said everything in just one look, one glance – you’re my savior.
The only thing Sungyeol could do was break into a smile. God, Myungsoo was so adorable when he wanted to be.
“He’ll take the same thing as me, please,” Sungyeol shrugged to the cashier.
“Couple ice cream flavors too, shocker,” the girl drawled on, rolling her eyes as she pressed in the pre-memorized orders.
“W-wait no, no, we’re not a couple,” Sungyeol immediately shot in, shaking his head furiously. His hands were moving back and forth too, in such a rush to deny what she had said. “He’s just –“
“The last thing we would be is a couple,” Myungsoo interrupted barely four seconds in, “Sungyeol hyung’s much too good to be stuck with someone like me –“
“Wait, what?” Sungyeol stopped everything and turned towards the other, the most incredulous look plastered on his face. “What?”
Myungsoo’s eyes couldn’t help being shot back and forth, all of a sudden embarrassed that all the spotlight was on him. “…What?”
“What do you mean, ‘Sungyeol hyung’s too good to be stuck with someone like me’? What the hell, Myungsoo?”
“I mean, it’s true, isn’t it?” It was so evident that the younger was flustered, not sure if he was supposed to look Sungyeol dead in the eye or keep his eyesight glued to the floor.
“No! – Myungsoo, no, oh my God if I were to ever fall in love with a guy it would be you!”
And at this point, the girl behind the cash register only tapped the counter more, letting her eyes roll once again. “How surprising.”
“No, you, you –“ Sungyeol pointed at the girl, “you stay out of this. Now Myungsoo, you need to understand this, I’m not ‘too good’ for you or anything –“
“Of course you are! Why would you ever like someone like me, I’m –“
“What’s not to like about you? You’re the most polite, most kindest, most I DON’T KNOW, most everything and, and –“
“And you love him, what a revelation!” the girl fake-shuddered, making little sarcastic jazz hands in the air. “Get over it, you’re in love with too-shy-to-order boy.”
“I’m not too shy to order, I’m just indecisive with ice cream flavors!” Myungsoo protested, turning to the girl.
“…I love you?”
“At least you’re not as indecisive as your boyfriend over here,” she nearly scoffed out. “’Oh, we’re not a couple’, ‘oh, I lied, you’re everything, I LOVE YOU’.”
“God you’re annoying.”
“You love me?”
Sungyeol froze at the tone Myungsoo had, feeling something surge through his body. “Wow.”
“I’ll call to stop the orders,” the girl smirked. “Y’all have enough sugar here to last a lifetime.”
A lifetime’s that run out.
A lifetime really isn’t that long, and that’s the only thing Sungyeol can think before he forces himself to look away from the shop. The lights are off and it’s way past closing hour, and he thinks that maybe in a day or two if he feels alive again he’ll go back in to visit the girl.
But as he keeps walking, he thinks that he probably won’t. She reminds him too much of the past, of what had been, of what was there. Sungyeol can’t face that probably ever.
So he keeps walking, he walks until he gets to a crossroad. He can count the number of cars passing through the roads on one hand but he proceeds to press the walk button anyways. It’s the least he can do.
He doesn’t want to die. His lifetime isn’t up yet.
When Sungyeol reaches his destination, he takes a seat on a wooden bench. It’s overlooking the playground that’s been there for as long as he can remember – it’s never been taken down and there’s still the biggest chance it won’t be.
The wind’s causing the swingset to continuously maneuver back and forth, and back and forth, and back and forth…Sungyeol feels the breeze behind his ear and because of this, he isn’t too frightened that there’s a supernatural happening occurring anywhere near him.
But it’s swinging, and still swinging, and continuously swinging. He looks up at the sky and it’s still dark, but when his eyes go back down, he finds that he’s not alone in this playground.
“What time do you need to be home?”
“My mom trusts you enough to let me be out late,” Myungsoo shrugged, smiling. He just loves how much his mom adores Sungyeol, it’s worked to his advantage so well so many times.
Sungyeol could only snort at the look on his boyfriend’s face. “Sometimes I feel like the only reason why you’re dating me is because I’m your ticket to freedom.”
“I’m not saying anything to defy that,” the other half-smiled, “but I can add to it. I’m also dating you because you’re very attractive, because you’re very cuddable, because you make me very happy, because you’re very good to me, because –“
“Does your vocabulary consist of anything besides because and very? Because I’m starting to think not.”
Myungsoo just gleefully laughed, wrapping his arms around the chains of the swing. “Let’s play a game.”
“Is this your way of evading the acceptance of your kindergarten level skills because –“
“Truth or truth.”
“That’s not even a game, Myungsoo.”
“Does the night just take away your fun side? You were the one saying that you wanted to run across the road and jump on a car and see how long you’d survive. And that was this morning.”
“I accept. I choose truth.”
“Truth? Okay. How much do you love me?”
Sungyeol laughed, rolling his eyes. “A lot, Myungsoo. A lot more than you could imagine.”
“Truth!!”
“How much do you love me, Kim Myungsoo?”
“Enough to remember y
It had been such a good idea at the time – no, rewind, it hadn’t. He’d gotten it on a whim, if that was the right thing to say.
Probably not. He’d gotten it because it had been the only thing he could do, the only sane thing on his mind other than plan a) throw myself off a rooftop. Sungyeol hadn’t known what to do other than to go to the nearest tattoo parlor and have the characters etched out on his neck.
He remembers the pain, all of it, all of the torment and the anguish and the hurt.
Oh, but he’s not talking about the physical pain – he was talking about the mental pain.
It’s 8 PM when he leaves his house. Their house. His house now. His lonely house with nothing but two pairs of everything but only one person to use them.
He passes by the arcade first and sits on the bench in front of it, stretching his long legs out and wondering when the sky had turned so dark.
But it’s only dark on the outside; in his mind, the sky is bright and shining and the streets are busy again. There are cars driving back and forth and people walking through the sidewalks.
“Didn’t you, like, used to always come here?” a boy around the age of 14 said, hair relentlessly forgotten as it splayed un-groomed on his head.
“Yeah,” his friend next to him snorted, pulling on the other’s elbow. “Not so much anymore.”
“Why not?” the first asked. When his friend refused to give him an answer, he rolled his eyes and said, “Sungyeol, tell me.”
“I don’t find games that interesting anymore,” Sungyeol admitted, a little half smile coming up on his lips, and the only thing Myungsoo could think was that he hoped that that meant something special in terms of them.
The older looked up at the sky and sighed blissfully. “Ever since my mom got me a Nintendo, at least.”
Myungsoo let his face falter before hitting Sungyeol on the arm as hard as he could. “You jerk.”
Sungyeol only laughed, looking the other way as he grabbed onto his friend’s forearm and got ready to run. “C’mon, there’s more places we can go!”
Sungyeol swears these aren’t tears, he swears he’s not getting emotional. He’s had too much of this, there was a reason he left the house – he couldn’t stand this anymore.
“,” he hisses as he stands up, rubbing his hands on the denim of his thighs. He’s so done with all of this, he isn’t taking it anymore. He can’t.
So he takes a walk a few blocks further – the streetlights are getting brighter and the sidewalks are slowly closing from groups to couples.
And Sungyeol still finds himself alone as he holds his posture, staring at the sign where he finds himself – the one place most kids continue to loiter to despite their age.
The ice cream shop.
He tries so hard to not let his imagination run wild, he tries so hard to unblur his eyes and he just, he just tries so very hard to not take notice of the two figures standing before the cashier.
“You have to order something,” Sungyeol bugged Myungsoo, pointing at the menu above them. “We don’t have all day.”
“Wait, I need to think,” Myungsoo frowned, concentrating harder than anything. The employee standing in front of them didn’t really look like she cared.
“Do you want me to choose for you?”
And at that moment, Myungsoo turned to his best friend with wide eyes, glowing and glistening underneath the ice cream shop lights. It said everything in just one look, one glance – you’re my savior.
The only thing Sungyeol could do was break into a smile. God, Myungsoo was so adorable when he wanted to be.
“He’ll take the same thing as me, please,” Sungyeol shrugged to the cashier.
“Couple ice cream flavors too, shocker,” the girl drawled on, rolling her eyes as she pressed in the pre-memorized orders.
“W-wait no, no, we’re not a couple,” Sungyeol immediately shot in, shaking his head furiously. His hands were moving back and forth too, in such a rush to deny what she had said. “He’s just –“
“The last thing we would be is a couple,” Myungsoo interrupted barely four seconds in, “Sungyeol hyung’s much too good to be stuck with someone like me –“
“Wait, what?” Sungyeol stopped everything and turned towards the other, the most incredulous look plastered on his face. “What?”
Myungsoo’s eyes couldn’t help being shot back and forth, all of a sudden embarrassed that all the spotlight was on him. “…What?”
“What do you mean, ‘Sungyeol hyung’s too good to be stuck with someone like me’? What the hell, Myungsoo?”
“I mean, it’s true, isn’t it?” It was so evident that the younger was flustered, not sure if he was supposed to look Sungyeol dead in the eye or keep his eyesight glued to the floor.
“No! – Myungsoo, no, oh my God if I were to ever fall in love with a guy it would be you!”
And at this point, the girl behind the cash register only tapped the counter more, letting her eyes roll once again. “How surprising.”
“No, you, you –“ Sungyeol pointed at the girl, “you stay out of this. Now Myungsoo, you need to understand this, I’m not ‘too good’ for you or anything –“
“Of course you are! Why would you ever like someone like me, I’m –“
“What’s not to like about you? You’re the most polite, most kindest, most I DON’T KNOW, most everything and, and –“
“And you love him, what a revelation!” the girl fake-shuddered, making little sarcastic jazz hands in the air. “Get over it, you’re in love with too-shy-to-order boy.”
“I’m not too shy to order, I’m just indecisive with ice cream flavors!” Myungsoo protested, turning to the girl.
“…I love you?”
“At least you’re not as indecisive as your boyfriend over here,” she nearly scoffed out. “’Oh, we’re not a couple’, ‘oh, I lied, you’re everything, I LOVE YOU’.”
“God you’re annoying.”
“You love me?”
Sungyeol froze at the tone Myungsoo had, feeling something surge through his body. “Wow.”
“I’ll call to stop the orders,” the girl smirked. “Y’all have enough sugar here to last a lifetime.”
A lifetime’s that run out.
A lifetime really isn’t that long, and that’s the only thing Sungyeol can think before he forces himself to look away from the shop. The lights are off and it’s way past closing hour, and he thinks that maybe in a day or two if he feels alive again he’ll go back in to visit the girl.
But as he keeps walking, he thinks that he probably won’t. She reminds him too much of the past, of what had been, of what was there. Sungyeol can’t face that probably ever.
So he keeps walking, he walks until he gets to a crossroad. He can count the number of cars passing through the roads on one hand but he proceeds to press the walk button anyways. It’s the least he can do.
He doesn’t want to die. His lifetime isn’t up yet.
When Sungyeol reaches his destination, he takes a seat on a wooden bench. It’s overlooking the playground that’s been there for as long as he can remember – it’s never been taken down and there’s still the biggest chance it won’t be.
The wind’s causing the swingset to continuously maneuver back and forth, and back and forth, and back and forth…Sungyeol feels the breeze behind his ear and because of this, he isn’t too frightened that there’s a supernatural happening occurring anywhere near him.
But it’s swinging, and still swinging, and continuously swinging. He looks up at the sky and it’s still dark, but when his eyes go back down, he finds that he’s not alone in this playground.
“What time do you need to be home?”
“My mom trusts you enough to let me be out late,” Myungsoo shrugged, smiling. He just loves how much his mom adores Sungyeol, it’s worked to his advantage so well so many times.
Sungyeol could only snort at the look on his boyfriend’s face. “Sometimes I feel like the only reason why you’re dating me is because I’m your ticket to freedom.”
“I’m not saying anything to defy that,” the other half-smiled, “but I can add to it. I’m also dating you because you’re very attractive, because you’re very cuddable, because you make me very happy, because you’re very good to me, because –“
“Does your vocabulary consist of anything besides because and very? Because I’m starting to think not.”
Myungsoo just gleefully laughed, wrapping his arms around the chains of the swing. “Let’s play a game.”
“Is this your way of evading the acceptance of your kindergarten level skills because –“
“Truth or truth.”
“That’s not even a game, Myungsoo.”
“Does the night just take away your fun side? You were the one saying that you wanted to run across the road and jump on a car and see how long you’d survive. And that was this morning.”
“I accept. I choose truth.”
“Truth? Okay. How much do you love me?”
Sungyeol laughed, rolling his eyes. “A lot, Myungsoo. A lot more than you could imagine.”
“Truth!!”
“How much do you love me, Kim Myungsoo?”
“Enough to remember y
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