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♪♪
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♪ They call you lady luck
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♪ But there is room for doubt
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♪ At times you have
a very un-lady-like way
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♪ Of running out
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♪ Luck be a lady tonight
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♪ Luck be a lady... r
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CEDRIC: Las Vegas.
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For 100 years,
people have flocked
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To get a taste of
its forbidden fruit.
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In the 1930s and '40s, it
was the Mafia and gambling.
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In the late '50s, America's
first topless showgirls
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appeared at the Dunes Casino.
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And in the '60s, it was all
about Frank and the Rat Pack.
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♪♪
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But today, damn!
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Vegas has become
Disneyland for adults.
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And let me tell you something.
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What happens in Vegas
stays in Vegas.
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See, in this town, you don't
know if it's day or night.
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And guess what?
You don't care,
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because you're in Vegas, baby!
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From the casinos to the clubs,
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the pools and the strip bars,
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It's the best place in the world
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for men and women
to get their freak on.
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Okay, just be careful because
it's a wedding dress.
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Why are you stressing?
It's beautiful.
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CEDRIC: Unless, of course,
they go together as couples.
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Zeke?
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Zeke the Freak!
(LAUGHS)
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It's me, Marty.
Remember?
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(SINGSONG) Marty
the One Man Party!
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What up, yo?
What up, man?
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Oh, man, wait till I tell
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Luis the Freak is back in town!
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Hey, two of my wildest
nights ever
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was with Z to the F.
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I can only imagine.
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Oh, baby, you don't even got to imagine.
We got this on video.
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She don't wanna see that.
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She ain't about that life? No.
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That's sweet.
Hey, this man is a god.
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A legend with the ladies.
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We used to get him drunk
just to get his leftovers.
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I was young, I used to come
by here once in a while.
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Sounds like you came here a lot.
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Hey, you remember Marco's
big blow-out bash last year?
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That was a few years ago.
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Them strippers
was off the chain.
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Marty, this is my woman, Mya.
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Oh. Oh.
Nice to meet you.
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No! Wait!
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Oh! You took him
down? (LAUGHING)
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Lower the flag, baby!
Retire the rubbers.
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Zeke the Freak
is getting married!
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No! No, dude,
God, no.
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We just here for
a friend's wedding.
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Mya just made the dresses.
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Designed.
Designed the dresses.
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Well, I'm just saying, if
you can get away later on,
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Luis is having an after-party
at the Chicken Ranch...
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I'm right here!
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Oh. Well, this how
we do, baby!
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Let me just get with you later.
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All right.
Get your girl in check,
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she gonna make me look bad
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out here in the street, man.
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(CHUCKLING)
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Wait till I tell Luis the
Freak is back in town!
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I don't know that dude, really.
Mmm.
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I met him one time.
He drives and cuts hair.
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Mmm-mmm.
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MYA: Hell, no. MARTY: Zeke the
Freak is back in town, baby!
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CEDRIC: Now, my opinion?
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The only thing worse than
going to Vegas as a couple
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is going as man and wife.
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BENNETT: Babe,
you see the car?
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Look at these hookers.
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Tish, honey,
those are not hookers.
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They're just girls
having fun in Vegas.
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It's really not a big deal.
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They probably got
no dad in their life,
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low self-esteem.
It's very sad, actually.
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By the way, Bennett,
that fanny-pack
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really screams
"Vegas Weekend."
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Yeah, Tish got it for me.
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It's safer keep your money
in the front in Vegas.
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Plus, she gave me a bonus.
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JEREMY: Bet she did.
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And I can get to
the money if I need to.
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(BENNETT LAUGHING)
It's right in the front.
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I can't wait to get to the room.
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All right.
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Okay, good, there's
gonna be like an hour
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between check-in
and separation.
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For what? Oh, we're trying
to have a baby, ASAP.
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I waited nine years to get
married, so we're, you know.
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Oh, congratulations!
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I'm so happy for you!
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I hope for your sake it's a boy.
Why?
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Well, you know,
when you have a boy,
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you just worry about his wiener.
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When you have a girl,
you have to worry about
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all the wieners coming at her.
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Smacking her around.
You remember how it is.
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Ah, the romance and
magic of scheduled sex.
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Girl's not gonna wait forever.
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Yeah, no, I get it.
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She doesn't want
to be the "old" mom.
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I can't believe it, man! You as a father.
(CHUCKLES)
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I know, right?
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I can't believe it either.
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She's like a drill
sergeant, on a schedule!
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It's like there's a shot clock,
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constantly winding down to one,
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and I gotta hit the last shot.
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Last week, I thought
I sprained it.
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You know, the worst part about
it is I had to stop smoking pot.
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No! You? Pot.
Yeah. Me.
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It's like saying goodbye
to an old friend. Why?
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Because I can only deal with one
stoned child at a time, that's why.
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She heard us.
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She hears everything.
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♪ Gimme your love
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♪ Don't stop
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♪ Baby, keep it coming I
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CEDRIC: Fortunately,
some couples know exactly
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how to embrace
the true spirit of Vegas.
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Okay, all right.
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So they hadn't seen
each other for 10 days
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because of Lauren's
business trip.
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Now you know what they say.
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Absence does make the heart
and other organs grow fonder.
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Despite its reputation
as Sin City,
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Vegas is still the number one
destination in the country
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for couples to do the craziest thing
of all, get married. Dummies.
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It is the perfect setting.
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Everything is perfect.
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You know, this kind
of looks like...
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Ancient Rome, like Spartacus.
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