Onebecause I'm lacking compared to

One

because I'm lacking compared to you

and I am not enough

I am too miserable

Mark sighed and huffed a heavy breathe. It’s his umpteenth times falling and limping soullessly in JYP's practice room. Martial arts tricking apparently didn't look as cool as it may seemed. He wondered if it was a wrong choice to agree when Director Park Jinyoung assign him to this lesson.

"Hey LA boy, if you keep doing it like this you may quit and ask PD-nim to assign you for another class," his trainer said with his playful voice yet stared at Mark with stern, threatening gaze. Exactly his style when he's actually tired and pissed yet couldn't bring himself to scold his students.

"I'm sorry Sir.." he could only mumbled quietly.

The trainer sighed heavily but didn’t have a heart to scold the boy any further.

"I'm giving you time to rest then we'll start again at 2. Jackson you better do well or else I'd make you meet JYP too"

Jackson grumbled after their martial arts trainer exited the practice room. He messed his own hair. Mark glance at the clock, it's 12. More than enough to clear his mind in two hours, he thought.

"Man, I don't know what's disturbing you but if you keep like this it could ruin your future. Just so you remember Mark, you've been like this for a week. If it was home sick, I feel it too but –“

Jackson stop talking abruptly. He saw Mark sprawled in the matress, put his arm above his eyes. His breathe is steady, but he could never hide his expression, especially from Jackson. Seeing this, he knew Mark most likely won't listen to him. He was on his don’t-expect-me-to-reply-because-I’m-not-hearing-anything state.

"Never mind. Talk to me when you’ve figured it out already" and left him by himself.

Not long after Jackson left the room, he heard knock with familiar pattern. He knew it too well to not be able to hold himself from looking at the door. A hand appeared, held a plastic bag with the logo of convenience store nearest the company.

"Mark hyung?"

A boy with neat cut, black hair peeking from behind the door. And when their eyes meet, his smile widened. The corner of his eyes wrinkled. No bother asking permission, he entered the room and plopped down beside Mark’s lying body.

"I bought ice cream..and snack. I can’t find you at the dorm so I thought you must be still here."

He sighed but didn't wait for Mark to answer, then opened the package and shoved melon popsicle into Mark's mouth,

“brain freeze!”

He immediately woke up groaned and grumbled because of the sudden cold attack and slapped the boy hard yet playfully, made Jinyoung laughed out loud, rolling on the matress. They stayed silent then and for some minutes only sound of slurping heard.

"So," the boy started, "Jackson said you're not in a good mood to practice and keep falling. So Jinyeongie here decided to come to the rescue and bring this heavenly cold sweetness to calm my Mark hyung," he talked with his animated voice. Being ignored, he tried to get the elder’s attention by poking his ice cream stick to him, making Mark avoid him with disgusted face.

"Jackson must be exaggerated. I'm good..,” Mark leant back to the mirror wall behind him after finishing his ice cream, discarded the stick carelessly. Jinyoung just shrugged his shoulder.

“..just tired with all of these sh it.."

He brought his hand to his hair, pulled it harsh then down to his temple.

“Jinyeong..”

“Huh?”

“..what if I could never make it?”

“Ah, hyung~”

The boy swiftly reach Mark’s hand and took a careful look to his eyes. Seeing his hyung look tired and frustrated, he frowned and shot a sympathetic gaze. When Mark brought his own finger to point the frown, the smile back completely with wrinkle on each of the corner of his eyes.

He swatted Mark’s hand and shoved him. The younger then grabbed his neck while pretending to wrestle his hyung when he actually only poked his waist endlessly with his fingers.

Mark turned to giggling mess. Then somewhere between the laughing sound, he managed to say,

"Hey, Jinyoung....Jinyoung...I’m serious..”

Jinyoung stopped what he was doing, sensed urgency in the way Mark called him. Somehow the elder now managed to lie underneath Jinyoung and he stared down at Mark’s eyes. His fingers still held Mark’s waist. Silence surrounding them for a moment.

“Should I just give up..?"

His eyes widened for miliseconds, Mark noticed. Then he got up from Mark’s body.

"...don’t joke around like that.."

Mark closed his eyes, but he could feel Jinyoung’s stare bored at him.

“Have I ever make such joke?

“That’s why..I mean..”

Mark shook his head while smiled sheepishly,

"You don't know, Jin”

“What the hell are you talking about? Of course I know, I’m a trainee just like you..”

Mark abruptly got up and sat facing the younger,

“you. don’t. freakin’. know, Park Jinyoung,” he emphasized in each syllabes, silenced Jinyoung at whatever sentence he tried to say.

“..you have all talent one need to be an entertainer. And here I am c