Ok, here it goes.” Camila said inhaling heavily and closing her eyes for a brief moment as she mentally prepared for what she was about to see.She’d managed to pull the small wad of pictures out of the manila envelope so that they were face down and the only thing that now prevented her from viewing the images was a small but not so insignificant flick of her wrist.“You can do this babe,” Lauren reassured Camila, sensing her hesitation when she failed to turn them over.She placed an encouraging hand on Camila’s shoulder and squeezed it supportively.“Honestly, it’ll be alright. You’ll see.” Lauren reiterated sympathetically. “I’m right here.”Camila opened her eyes and turned her head to meet Lauren’s understanding gaze, offering her girlfriend a small, appreciative smile before returning her attention to the glossy prints in her hand. She played with them for a moment nervously, her thumb flicking through the corner edges of the pictures as she tried to summon up the courage to flip them so that they were facing up.Lauren moved her hand down to rest on Camila’s wrist and she dipped her head slightly so that her green eyes met her girlfriend’s.“Do you want me to do it?” Lauren asked her compassionately, sliding her fingers down so that she now held the small heap of pictures loosely in her right hand. “I can do it if you want me to.”Camila stared at Lauren for a moment, weighing up her offer but shook her head in response decidedly.
“No, I’ll do it,” she said, exhaling a lungful of air slowly through pursed lips.
“Ok,” Lauren responded smiling as she released the pictures from her grasp pleased with Camila’s courage.
Cautiously, Camila turned the pictures over so that the plain, white, glossy sheet which had been visible at the top of the pile was now at the bottom resting against the manila envelope which sat in her lap atop her thighs.
“Jesus,” Lauren breathed out in stunned surprise when the previously pure, blank sheet was replaced with the first image of Camila after the accident.
“I know,” Camila said as her eyes fixated on the photograph in front of her.
She traced her thumb across the image as she studied it, taking everything on the page in calmly, her previous concerns about how she’d react quickly dismissed by the reality of what had been permanently preserved by the camera.
“It doesn’t even look like me,” Camila commented, stooping closer to the photograph in her hand as Lauren averted her gaze, feeling uneasy. “Do you think it looks like me?” she asked as she glanced up at the green eyed girl.
Camila’s eyebrows lifted in alarm at the sight of her girlfriends’ ashen face and she sat up straight again.
“Are you alright?” Camila asked Lauren, shifting her position on the sofa so that she could get a better view of her.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” Lauren lied, trying her best to suppress the urge she had to cry.
Her voice was hoarser than she would have hoped and she hated the way it betrayed her disquiet when she was trying her best not to let Camila know how much the images were distressing her. Luckily however, Camila seemed to have bought the falsehood and had returned her attention to reviewing the pictures before her closely.
Lauren made a concerted effort to drop her eyes back to the photographs again but couldn’t stop herself from cringing inwardly as she gazed upon them, her mind conjuring up the memory of Camila in the intensive care unit following her seizure at Christmas and wishing more than anything that the images before her now resembled how her girlfriend had appeared then.
Lauren didn’t know what she’d been expecting to see when Camila had asked her to look at the pictures with her, but never in a million years could she have ever prepared herself for what could only be described as the complete carnage which was depicted on the page in front of her. If Lauren hadn’t been grateful for her absence from Camila’s life at the time of the accident before today, then she most definitely was now. Looking at the devastation that the accident had left on her girlfriends’ body made Lauren feel physically sick and the brunette thought that she finally understood exactly why Camila thought she’d have a similar reaction to seeing the pictures herself.
Seeing Camila on the intensive care unit after her seizure had been horrible for Lauren. She’d been devastated at the sight of her girlfriend hooked up to the ventilator and attached to the many different lines which had been necessary to stabilise her condition following the prolonged absence of oxygen to her brain whilst she’d convulsed. Camila had been unconscious and unaware of anything happening around her while she’d been sedated but Lauren remembered, she remembered it all. She remembered how scared she’d felt at the time, how worried she’d been for Camila and her recovery, the way that her stomach had tied itself in knots at the thought that her girlfriend might not wake up, that she could have suffered further brain dam
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