Describing the village where she hides from the media attention, Millie observesthat the ‘[w]eather here in this part of the world is just as moody, just as subjective anddisloyal, as people’ (Kay 1998: 23). In this sentence, Millie shows what is wrong with hernarrative: the story she tells is subjective – she cannot help that – as it depends on hermemories and thoughts. However, her story is also disloyal. As she tries to rewrite thepast, she is disloyal to the life she led, and the person she loved, because in trying tochange her past, she is suggesting that it is not good enough; that the relationship cannotstand up to the intense scrutiny of the press. If Millie refuses to be ashamed of herrelationship, then nothing anybody says can have any affect. Her efforts to convince theworld of Joss’s masculinity only serve to reinforce the idea that Joss is not a man. Bydenying her past, Millie displays the shame that she claims not to feel.
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