Hi,
Apparently, having more pressure at work makes me write faster. :D
I also want to thank everyone that has leave reviews, fave this story, and follow it! Your thoughts and comments help me sorting the story in my head faster. So thank you very much! Please, terribly please with cherry on the top, keep your reviews coming. You don't know how much it helps me. :)
For those who asked why Emi is still around, it will be answered in the next chapter which will focus more on Asami and Emi.
Disclaimer : VF belongs to Yamane Amano
Chapter 8. Going Back Home
Part 1. Loneliness Kills The Cat
I lie on the white sand beach, enjoying the warmth of the never-ending summer in this tropical paradise. Eyes closed, I spread my arms and legs wide, trying to relax my whole body. The soft wind blows through the coconut trees nearby and the muffled rustles of its leaves slightly calm my chaotic heart. But nothing can stop my mind from wandering to the only place I want to be.
What time is it in Japan? What does Ryu do by now? Is he well? Is he safe? Does he eat properly? He often skips his meal. He must not smoke and drink too much. It is not good for his health. By the way, what time is it in Japan now?
I repeat every single thought silently in my head over and over again.
I understand that it is for Asami's own good that I leave him. I am not going to watch him getting hurt because of me again. And if I stay with him, I know I will just bring him down. I am a liability that he needs to cut loose so he can survive in his world. A burden. A weakness. This is not the easiest decision, but it is the best for both of us. My logic knows this old arguments well. My stubborn heart, in the other hand, refuses to accept it.
Let him go, Akihito. You have no place in his world. Just like he will never be comfortable in your world. You both are just way too different. Stop thinking about him. Move on. You have your own life to live now. Sooner or later, he, too, will accept your decision. And everything will get better.
But it is easier said than done. I struggle to take a deep calming breath. But that still doesn't stop a willful teardrop from falling down on my cheek. Angry at my failure to control that single drop, I rub my cheek violently to wipe it away.
It doesn't help that the whole place reminds me of my time with Asami in that tropical island. Why didn't I run away to the North Pole, anyway? I am sure nothing will remind me of him there. Oh, right, it is because Tao is the one who arranged everything for me. And according to him, South East Asia is the safest place for me right now. It is a relatively neutral zone controlled by Asami's acquaintance, someone who respect him enough not to hurt me but doesn't work for Asami that he will go the extra mile to find me.
I don't think I can go this far without Tao. For years since the Hong Kong incident, even after I broke up with Asami, Tao and I always keep in contact. When I consulted him about my messy relationships with Arata and Asami, Tao didn't judge me at all. Instead, he asked whether I was sure about my decision to leave the two men. And when I said I did, he told me to describe my plan in detail.
"Leaving Arata is simple, Aki. He is a normal man. You can just break up with him like any other normal couple in the world," he said. "But leaving Asami won't be that simple. Men like him hate to lose what they claim as theirs." He quickly added when I protested, "I know you think that you don't belong to him. Or to anyone else. But he thinks that you are his. For him, it doesn't matter what you think. His instinct is to keep you and to protect you. Trust me, if you leave, he will hunt you down to the end of the earth and he will destroy anything that stands in his way."
Tao sounded so sure and mature that it annoyed me a bit. I was much older than him. He shouldn't be the one who make advices. The last time we met in Hong Kong, he was just a young boy who did whatever Feilong told him to do. How come he grew up so fast in just a few years and I didn't realize it until now? So, just to maintain my pride as the older one, I mocked him, "Yeah, says the 15 years old boy."
He didn't take my teasing seriously, though. Surprising me with his calm confident, he replied in a strong and steady voice, "I can tell you this, Aki, because I will do the same if I am in his position."
His plain answer sent a shivers down my spine. Where had the naive and cheerful boy that I met in Hong Kong gone? Every time we called each other with Skype, I saw how he changed bit by bit. He got taller. His posture became more like a man than a boy. His face lost its innocent attributes. His movement was more graceful. His voice turned deeper and his tone was full of confident. But the biggest change was the way he talked that somehow reminded me of Asami. Or Feilong. It sounded as if he could see everything from a perspective that normal people couldn't see. As if there were a line that separate their world with the normal world where us commoners lived. I didn't really notice the full weight of the difference up until that moment. And somehow, this new Tao made me feel even more scared. If Asami and Feilong's world could change Tao so much, how could I be sure that it wouldn't change me as well? What would I become if I stayed there?
When Tao realized that I didn't have a solid plan other than making up a fake journey to Osaka while hiding somewhere else, he offered his help. In the beginning, I felt reluctant to involve him in my personal problem. But his argument convinced me.
"You won't get far without help, Aki. You may not know, but Sion group is one of the strongest organizations in the world right now. Asami has eyes, ears, and hands everywhere in all five continents. If you stay in Japan, he will find you in a matter of hours. If you hide in another country with a tourist visa, he will track you down in a few days by tracing your passport and bank activity. Even if you can, by any luck, hide from him, most probably wherever you go it will be either Asami's or his enemies' territory. Sooner or later, someone will find you and return you to Asami to get his favor, or someone will kill you just to spite him. You are my friend, Aki, my only true friend. Friend is a rare thing in my world and I don't want my only true friend to die. I know you will do this no matter what I say. But please, at least, let me help you," Tao said sternly when I called him from a random Internet shop half a year a go.
It is one of Tao's strange rules that I must not call him with my own phone or laptop. He even gave me software that I have to run to kill any third party application trying to track or record our online conversation. Just to stay safe, he told me. For me, it looks like the kid becomes more and more paranoid as he grows up. I don't know how Feilong raises him because Tao has never talked much about himself, enjoying my stories better than telling his own. But I make a mental note that Feilong and I will have a serious chat about what-you-should-and-shouldn't-teach-to-your-adopted-son as soon as I can.
From what he told me, it seems that Tao has independently built his own little empire behind Feilong's back for the last few years. And that was how he got me out of Japan illegally without Feilong knowing anything. Tao brought me to South East Asia through one of his secret routes. And with his help, I passed a few country borders without going through the normal immigration processes, which is why Asami can't detect my movement so far. At such a young age, Tao may not have as much power and wealth as his adopted father yet. But his wide connection and the loyalty of his men truly impress me. I guess, without connections and loyalty, he won't be able to keep his business a secret from the world, moreover from his father and Yoh's scrutiny.
I finally open my eyes when I realize that no matter how hard I try to relax my mind, it won't work. I can't stop my brain from thinking about Asami. Maybe it is not a wise decision to come to this holiday resort. It is actually Tao's idea. He heard about this place called Raja Ampat and he thought having a short holiday in paradise would snap me out of my memory of Asami. Besides, since I left Japan, Tao had acted discreetly as my manager, handling my contracts with an international science magazine. And after months working in a tough photography project in the deep forest of Borneo, he thought that I needed a break. "You can't keep working like that, Aki. You need to reward yourself once in a while. It will help you to relax," he argued. But apparently, he is wrong. Having nothing to occupy my mind just makes me feel even more depressed.
I glance at the watch on my wrist. I sigh. It is still 10 in the morning. A day seems to pass even slower when you are alone.
Wait, if it is 10 am here, what time is it in Japan now?
That night, I feel like I can't stand the loneliness anymore. It is not that the place is not beautiful. This holiday resort is breathtakingly stunning. I even took a few amazing pictures here. The sea is great for snorkeling and surfing. And it gives you a quiet personal time. It is a perfect place if you want to escape from your daily routine and the pressure of big cities.
The problem is that it doesn't matter how beautiful the paradise you live in is if you can't share it with the person you love. I see the deep blue ocean and I wish that Asami were here with me. I see the cozy natural room and I blush at the idea of what the pervert may do to me on that sturdy bed. I gaze at the clear starry night and I long for his touches and caresses and embraces.
I decide that I need a distraction. So, after dinner, I try to find a public Internet connection. The first thing I do is checking my email. I will search any news about Asami later, saving the best for the last. Arata, Kou, Takato, and my parents have sent me hundreds of emails in the pa
Chào bạnRõ ràng, có thêm áp lực tại nơi làm việc làm cho tôi viết nhanh hơn. : DTôi cũng muốn cảm ơn tất cả mọi người đã để lại nhận xét fave câu chuyện này, và làm theo nó! Suy nghĩ và ý kiến của bạn giúp tôi sắp xếp những câu chuyện trong đầu của tôi nhanh hơn. Vì vậy cảm ơn bạn rất nhiều! Xin vui lòng, terribly xin vui lòng với các anh đào trên đầu trang, Giữ cho nhận xét của bạn đến. Bạn không biết bao nhiêu nó sẽ giúp tôi. :)Đối với những người hỏi tại sao Emi là vẫn còn xung quanh, nó sẽ được trả lời trong chương kế tiếp sẽ tập trung hơn vào Asami và Emi.Tuyên bố từ chối: VF thuộc về Yamane AmanoChương 8. Sẽ quay lại trang chủPhần 1. Cô đơn giết những con mèoTôi nằm trên bãi biển cát trắng, thưởng thức sự ấm áp của mùa hè never-ending trong thiên đường nhiệt đới này. Nhắm mắt lại, tôi lây lan cánh tay và chân rộng của tôi cố gắng để thư giãn toàn bộ cơ thể của tôi. Mềm gió thổi qua cây dừa gần đó và rustles lá của nó, nghe không rỏ một chút bình tĩnh của tôi tim hỗn loạn. Nhưng không có gì có thể ngừng tâm trí của tôi từ lang thang để nơi duy nhất tôi muốn.Những gì thời gian là nó ở Nhật bản? Những gì hiện Ryu làm bây giờ? Hắn có tốt không? Ông là an toàn? Hiện ông ăn uống đúng cách? Ông thường bỏ qua bữa ăn của mình. Ông không phải hút thuốc và uống rượu quá nhiều. Nó không phải là tốt cho sức khỏe của ông. By the way, những gì thời gian là nó ở Nhật bản bây giờ?Tôi lặp lại mọi suy nghĩ đơn âm thầm trong đầu của tôi hơn và hơn nữa.I understand that it is for Asami's own good that I leave him. I am not going to watch him getting hurt because of me again. And if I stay with him, I know I will just bring him down. I am a liability that he needs to cut loose so he can survive in his world. A burden. A weakness. This is not the easiest decision, but it is the best for both of us. My logic knows this old arguments well. My stubborn heart, in the other hand, refuses to accept it.Let him go, Akihito. You have no place in his world. Just like he will never be comfortable in your world. You both are just way too different. Stop thinking about him. Move on. You have your own life to live now. Sooner or later, he, too, will accept your decision. And everything will get better.But it is easier said than done. I struggle to take a deep calming breath. But that still doesn't stop a willful teardrop from falling down on my cheek. Angry at my failure to control that single drop, I rub my cheek violently to wipe it away.It doesn't help that the whole place reminds me of my time with Asami in that tropical island. Why didn't I run away to the North Pole, anyway? I am sure nothing will remind me of him there. Oh, right, it is because Tao is the one who arranged everything for me. And according to him, South East Asia is the safest place for me right now. It is a relatively neutral zone controlled by Asami's acquaintance, someone who respect him enough not to hurt me but doesn't work for Asami that he will go the extra mile to find me.I don't think I can go this far without Tao. For years since the Hong Kong incident, even after I broke up with Asami, Tao and I always keep in contact. When I consulted him about my messy relationships with Arata and Asami, Tao didn't judge me at all. Instead, he asked whether I was sure about my decision to leave the two men. And when I said I did, he told me to describe my plan in detail."Leaving Arata is simple, Aki. He is a normal man. You can just break up with him like any other normal couple in the world," he said. "But leaving Asami won't be that simple. Men like him hate to lose what they claim as theirs." He quickly added when I protested, "I know you think that you don't belong to him. Or to anyone else. But he thinks that you are his. For him, it doesn't matter what you think. His instinct is to keep you and to protect you. Trust me, if you leave, he will hunt you down to the end of the earth and he will destroy anything that stands in his way."Tao sounded so sure and mature that it annoyed me a bit. I was much older than him. He shouldn't be the one who make advices. The last time we met in Hong Kong, he was just a young boy who did whatever Feilong told him to do. How come he grew up so fast in just a few years and I didn't realize it until now? So, just to maintain my pride as the older one, I mocked him, "Yeah, says the 15 years old boy."He didn't take my teasing seriously, though. Surprising me with his calm confident, he replied in a strong and steady voice, "I can tell you this, Aki, because I will do the same if I am in his position."His plain answer sent a shivers down my spine. Where had the naive and cheerful boy that I met in Hong Kong gone? Every time we called each other with Skype, I saw how he changed bit by bit. He got taller. His posture became more like a man than a boy. His face lost its innocent attributes. His movement was more graceful. His voice turned deeper and his tone was full of confident. But the biggest change was the way he talked that somehow reminded me of Asami. Or Feilong. It sounded as if he could see everything from a perspective that normal people couldn't see. As if there were a line that separate their world with the normal world where us commoners lived. I didn't really notice the full weight of the difference up until that moment. And somehow, this new Tao made me feel even more scared. If Asami and Feilong's world could change Tao so much, how could I be sure that it wouldn't change me as well? What would I become if I stayed there?When Tao realized that I didn't have a solid plan other than making up a fake journey to Osaka while hiding somewhere else, he offered his help. In the beginning, I felt reluctant to involve him in my personal problem. But his argument convinced me."You won't get far without help, Aki. You may not know, but Sion group is one of the strongest organizations in the world right now. Asami has eyes, ears, and hands everywhere in all five continents. If you stay in Japan, he will find you in a matter of hours. If you hide in another country with a tourist visa, he will track you down in a few days by tracing your passport and bank activity. Even if you can, by any luck, hide from him, most probably wherever you go it will be either Asami's or his enemies' territory. Sooner or later, someone will find you and return you to Asami to get his favor, or someone will kill you just to spite him. You are my friend, Aki, my only true friend. Friend is a rare thing in my world and I don't want my only true friend to die. I know you will do this no matter what I say. But please, at least, let me help you," Tao said sternly when I called him from a random Internet shop half a year a go.It is one of Tao's strange rules that I must not call him with my own phone or laptop. He even gave me software that I have to run to kill any third party application trying to track or record our online conversation. Just to stay safe, he told me. For me, it looks like the kid becomes more and more paranoid as he grows up. I don't know how Feilong raises him because Tao has never talked much about himself, enjoying my stories better than telling his own. But I make a mental note that Feilong and I will have a serious chat about what-you-should-and-shouldn't-teach-to-your-adopted-son as soon as I can.
From what he told me, it seems that Tao has independently built his own little empire behind Feilong's back for the last few years. And that was how he got me out of Japan illegally without Feilong knowing anything. Tao brought me to South East Asia through one of his secret routes. And with his help, I passed a few country borders without going through the normal immigration processes, which is why Asami can't detect my movement so far. At such a young age, Tao may not have as much power and wealth as his adopted father yet. But his wide connection and the loyalty of his men truly impress me. I guess, without connections and loyalty, he won't be able to keep his business a secret from the world, moreover from his father and Yoh's scrutiny.
I finally open my eyes when I realize that no matter how hard I try to relax my mind, it won't work. I can't stop my brain from thinking about Asami. Maybe it is not a wise decision to come to this holiday resort. It is actually Tao's idea. He heard about this place called Raja Ampat and he thought having a short holiday in paradise would snap me out of my memory of Asami. Besides, since I left Japan, Tao had acted discreetly as my manager, handling my contracts with an international science magazine. And after months working in a tough photography project in the deep forest of Borneo, he thought that I needed a break. "You can't keep working like that, Aki. You need to reward yourself once in a while. It will help you to relax," he argued. But apparently, he is wrong. Having nothing to occupy my mind just makes me feel even more depressed.
I glance at the watch on my wrist. I sigh. It is still 10 in the morning. A day seems to pass even slower when you are alone.
Wait, if it is 10 am here, what time is it in Japan now?
That night, I feel like I can't stand the loneliness anymore. It is not that the place is not beautiful. This holiday resort is breathtakingly stunning. I even took a few amazing pictures here. The sea is great for snorkeling and surfing. And it gives you a quiet personal time. It is a perfect place if you want to escape from your daily routine and the pressure of big cities.
The problem is that it doesn't matter how beautiful the paradise you live in is if you can't share it with the person you love. I see the deep blue ocean and I wish that Asami were here with me. I see the cozy natural room and I blush at the idea of what the pervert may do to me on that sturdy bed. I gaze at the clear starry night and I long for his touches and caresses and embraces.
I decide that I need a distraction. So, after dinner, I try to find a public Internet connection. The first thing I do is checking my email. I will search any news about Asami later, saving the best for the last. Arata, Kou, Takato, and my parents have sent me hundreds of emails in the pa
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