. “My parents are against it and wo

. “My parents are against it and wouldn’t support me.”

This is an argument that I personally struggled with. I come from a relatively conservative Chinese family, where going to a top school is expected. A gap year wasn’t something that was even on my parents’s radar.

What I had to keep in mind was that my parents genuinely wanted me to succeed. All I had to do, then, was convince them that a gap year could be an important building block in that success. Realizing that my parents might have a skewed idea of what a gap year entails, I made sure to clarify that I wasn’t planning to spend a year wasting away on the couch. I explained why it was important for me to take a year off, giving examples of what I wanted to learn, do, and accomplish. I ended by reassuring them — because I will be going back to school — that a year or two of my life is a very short period of time.

Now my parents have come around. In fact, they’ve even come up with their own line of reasoning: they believe that the real-life experiences I’ll have during my year off will hone my leadership skills. This way, when I do go to school, I can lead, not be led.

I realize, however, that not all parents will have as positive of a reaction. Some may flat-out refuse to support you. Still, that shouldn’t deter you from taking a year off: the ability to defy authority, take risks, and make emotionally difficult decisions is important, especially if you want to do something different. In the end, it comes down to this: who are you living your life for, your parents or yourself?

2. “My school won’t let me.”

This can be a tricky one. Some schools, especially private universities, automatically allow or even encourage students to take a gap year. Others, particularly public schools, don’t. If you’ve already been accepted into your school of choice, and it generally doesn’t approve of its students taking time off, here’s what to do.

Start out by writing a school administrator (the dean of admissions, perhaps?) a nice letter or email. Explaining why you want to take a year off, and convince them that you’re actually trying to take a year “on.” Arranging an in-person meeting to discuss your options might also be a good idea.

If the answer is still a resolute “no,” it’s time to weigh your priorities. Are you sure that this school — one that acknowledges the value of you taking time off, yet still refuses to allow you to do so because of some sort of bureaucratic logic — really the school you want to go to? If you answered “yes,” maybe you really shouldn’t take a year off.

There are always other options, of course. Here’s an idea: perhaps you could “hack” your way into a year off by taking an extremely light course-load. One class?